Thursday filth: how many rooms in your house have you banged in?

2 + one of the staircases here.

Yesterday I entered the house to hear loud moaning and sexy talk from my housemate’s room (who will not engage in any “proper” sexual behaviour until marriage). Dunno why but I’m more creeped out by orgiastic noises coming from a dry hump snogfest than from a proper pounding. May never have sex again tbh.

I think actually just the one in my current flat.

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Can’t remember if I can count the bathroom, as we all know that shower sex is terrible and forgettable.


All other rooms are just a novelty tbh. Bedroom is basically ideal

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Sometimes you’re just overcome by the urge to take your partner in the gazebo.

We moved in four weeks ago, and it stands at 40%

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is that past the mull of kintyre test?



(Yeah tbh I’m seeing my FWBs this weekend)

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video for this song is completely unmemorable

  • Sex before marriage
  • Sex after marriage
  • Sex during the wedding ceremony

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Flat has 6 rooms:

  • Living room / kitchen - :heavy_check_mark:
  • Bedroom - :heavy_check_mark:
  • En suite - :heavy_multiplication_x: Wouldn’t rule it out for future although never been a big fan of shower action. Edit: are we including wanking?
  • Bathroom - :heavy_multiplication_x: Smells too much. Would be too off-putting
  • Hallway - :heavy_multiplication_x: Hard laminate flooring. Uncomfortable
  • Second bedroom - :heavy_multiplication_x::heavy_multiplication_x::heavy_multiplication_x: My son’s room. Wrong on many levels
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Maybe light a candle first, Christ.


Not sure that would add a romantic ambiance

Going down on someone and it doesn’t smell good.

Do you

  • Think fuck it and go for it anyway
  • Try to seamlessly redirect to kissing around the stomach / legs before moving back up the body as though that was always the plan
  • Bring it up in a roundabout way, suddenly starting a conversation.
  • Say something clearly to explain why you’re not going to pleasure them with your mouth
  • Tell them to go clean themselves right now
  • Put your clothes back on and leave without a word

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Was this doorframe positioning in anticipation of this thread?

Married people: Did you bang on your wedding night? (Anonymous)

  • Oh yeaaaaah
  • No I was knackered

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