If I made porn, it’d be a kind of postmodern mockumentary about the making of a porn parody of Citizen Kane
1 Like
JERETHIAN CHOEP-WALKER: good day shopkeep.
SHOPKEEP: morning guv
J C-W: yes a fine day. I am a collector of fine cards from around the globe and I was wondering perhap if your emporium stocked any cards that may be of interest
SHOPKEEP: are you after the five quid porn card?
J C-W: not specifically sir, I am a collector of many such cards and would love to peruse your selection of cards, good honest purveyor
SHOPKEEP: um … ok, I’ll fetch some cards from the back if you’re not interested in the
J C-W: NO IVE GOT ALL THEM ACTUALLY
9 Likes
Reckon if there was a porn block in this country there would be riots on pretty sure every street corner,
1 Like
Sexy maintenance person turns up in the sexy office to fix the sexy photocopier, waits around for a bit for the sexy office manager to arrive and then leaves without fiddling with any knobs or unwrapping any tools.
Same thing happens in scene two, but there are more people in the sexy office waiting for the sexy manager. Nobody has sex or fixes a photocopier and the sexy maintenance person leaves unsatisfied.
I think it’s called Waiting for Good Blow(jobs).
2 Likes
Had a sexy dream about ccb once. I hope he doesn’t mind.
2 Likes
Grumble grumble not sure about that Corbyn grumble grumble want everything for free and that business grumble grumble what about enterprise grumble whatever my opinion of brexit is
“ayo I’m fuckin that porn blocker off lads”
Labour landslide
Socialist utopia
Nationalised vaseline
6 Likes
Can’t imagine how good it’d be to know someone has had a sex dream about you.
3 Likes
misread this as “how it would be good to know” and was about to like the post in agreement, then i realised it was the opposite.
i reckon knowing someone has had a sex dream about you is one of those things that sounds good in theory, but is probably extremely creepy in reality (unless it’s someone you actually want to/do have sex with).
I think it would be nice, wouldn’t necessarily mean they fancy you or would want to act on it but I would treat it like any other compliment
1 Like
I’d be coasting on that low level confidence high for a good fortnight
2 Likes
Moonwalking/high-fiving would definitely be on the agenda
5 Likes
I don’t really want sex compliments from most people!
1 Like
i’ve been told once or twice and i felt like a massive stud, naturally.
i bet dream me is a better shag than real me
Tory’s are such a bunch of fucking weirdos.
1 Like
The new emojis on here are rubbish but I did actually blush when I read this!
Of course I don’t mind, I’m flattered (assuming I wasn’t a massive disappointment)
I’ve not met any of you, so it would be pretty hard to have a dream where you are there. But rest assured if I do…then you are cordially invited to a massive bacchanalian orgy in my head.
1 Like
And the old and technologically illiterate. So Tories basically. Ideally they’d put the porn block in just before a second referendum so all the young tech savvy remainers can campaign on a, “vote remain and we’ll show you how to get back on the bongo sites” platform. Remain landslide/socialist utopia/nationalised vaseline etc.
6 Likes
Never heard it called that before
2 Likes
The Hays code was deeply weird, wasn’t it? Iirc, it included no tongues when kissing, no kisses of longer than three(?) seconds, no outright innuendo, and if a couple were in bed, one of them had to have a foot on the floor (which is also the rule for a foul stroke in snooker, oddly enough).
2 Likes