Thursday Filth: unerotic conversations or experiences that have somehow got you laid

Welcome to a probably not very erotic Thursday filth thread. Content on the theme of ‘unerotic conversations or experiences that have somehow not hindered you from getting laid’ is also acceptable.

Feel free to add polls to your anecdotes to gauge whether DiS would be deterred from coitus following that experience/conversation.

I’ll kick us off with “an in-depth analysis of the 2016 Moldovan presidential election”. I was quite excited to be able to talk at length about a niche topic and still get my needs attended to later that evening, it was quite sexy.

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had someone listen in to my calls when i worked in a customer service call centre on her first day of training. shes having my baby in two months

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When I met one of my exes I was a bit stoned. He was talking about irradiating food. I had no idea what he was on about.

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Literally every person I’ve ever had sex with has had a least some conversation with me beforehand.

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No, I am powerfully erotic at all times

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its a blessing and a curse

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listing my favourite fruits
#silvertonguehotchat

Absolutely.

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• haberdashery
• music industry ticketing infrastructure
• drill bits

Oh, kind of got one

Went home with a girl from a club (which turned into an epic slog of a journey in classic “London is shit” style) and knocked a full glass of water over her bed almost as soon as I entered the room. The cleanup was a passion killer but we soldiered on with what I can only assume was some pretty mediocre drunk/ kind of hungover already sex (it was a long time ago)

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Not conversation as such, but on our second date I vomited on the street whilst we were walking to the club after she’d cooked me dinner. We’re still together after 19.5 years

edit, that’s not very filthy, sorry - we did have sex later that evening too

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I had the opposite where someone (who I had a bit of a crush on) was as good as propositioning me and I was somehow totally clueless about it

I despise myself

I have in fact had sex despite gestures all of this

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a/s/l?

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I heard somebody at a house party drunkenly bellowing songs from the musical Wicked to the annoyance of every other bugger there, so I decided to join in. Needless to say, filth ensued soon after. And that was my first ever time.

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tbf that job was an attractive quality for way more men in sheds than women :'D got stopped in B&Q for a chat about coffins once.

Jackson Pollock
Primary school end-of-year reviews
Steak

I too I’m now in a comitted relationship with the person who mentored me on the first day of my training at a customer service call centre job. Call centres are lowkey hotbeds of steamy romance.

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Jackson pollock is prime filth fertiliser surely?

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An in spite of rather than the cause of. In the wilderness year before I got together with the wife I had an occasional hook up with someone who worked as cabin crew, so had to carefully plan our liaisons around when she was going to be in the country. On one of the days we’d arranged to meet at hers, I’d been out the night before and was feeling a little ropey. I made the drive to Crawley anyway but when I arrived discovered that the shared bathroom in her house was out of commission and only the en suites in each bedroom were usable. Thought I was doing OK and started to relax but as we were getting in to it I was overcome by a powerful case of the Epimers and had to dive in to her bathroom. I don’t know why but I couldn’t shut the door all the way so the poor girl had to listen to me suffering for a solid ten minutes, absolutely filling the room with the fetid stench of the previous days indulgence. We spent the rest of the night as planned but it was one of our last. Probably for the best really.

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