Thursday Filth (with a twist) Thread - Filthy Bastard Edition


#1

1 Tell us something grim about yourself (you know, like you’ve got a dinner plate from two months ago under your bed, with crusted ketchup on it).

2 We’ll call you a fllthy bastard.

3 Everyone’s happy.

4 No horrible sex tales, thank you very much. This is filth with a twist, you filthy bastard.


#2

Not me but a mate at uni had a room with a funny smell. For weeks everyone who came in noticed it but the mate in question couldn’t really work out why his room stank so much. Turned out he’d left a full cup of tea under his bed for a couple of months and the tea had grown into something out of The Thing.

We called it Clive and moved it to the shared kitchen instead.


'Mad' stuff you did when you were a student
#3

What a filthy bastard.

Thanks for getting my thread off the ground.

I thought I was going to have to kickstart it by talking about the jug I have in the back room.


#4

I’m fairly clean-living, but I have never washed my car by hand or vacuumed it out.


#5

I think I’ve got a good one here.

Earlier this year in March I shaved off a beard I had been growing for about a year and a half. There was quite a lot of beard to cut off. I thought it would be funny little ‘prank’ on my partner to collect the clumps of hair I had cut/shaved off and mould it into a ball and store it in a tupperware tub. I pretended I was going to keep it as a pet. Oh how we laughed!

Thing is, it’s still there on my shelf in my bedroom because I forgot to dispose of it after the joke had finished, and it now has a light sheen on condensation on the tub. I’m in two minds about what to do with it now. Will take a picture later if people would like that.


#6

How long have you had this car?

We need to know before we can comfortably and confidently dish out the epithet, YFB.


#7

Yeah, there’s a Boost wrapper on the floor of my car that’s almost certainly going to stay there for as long as I have it.

Also found a purple fruit pastille in the cup holder yesterday. No idea how long it’s been there. No, I didn’t eat it.


#8

You filthy bastard.


#9

This one - 2 years. Previous one was 4 years.


#10

I’ll let the mob decide.


#11

again not me

but someone I shared a flat with in 1st year uni didn;t care for washing up his dinner plates

he would allow the old bean juice and stuff to dry onto the plate, then just serve the next meal on the dirty plate

the other resident of the flat would leave dirty plates under her bed that would attract mice

She was older/ not a student. He was a mature student (early 20s). I was 18, just left home for the 1st time and was the only one who knew anything about basic not being gross rules


#12

Cleaning cars is shit. Cars are shit tbh.


#13

A pair of filthy bastards here, I’m sure we’d all agree.


#14

My excuse is that I can’t park outside my house and like fuck am I trekking round the corner to clean it out in the street.

New house has a driveway. Bet I still won’t clean the car.


#15

I only used to wash mine before an MOT (I had a vague idea that the testers might favour a clean car subconsciously)

I don’t even bother to do that anymore


#16

is this a good platform to shame my sister’s bf for the state of his toothbrush head? (he’s too cheap to replace them!)

the man is a doctor ffs


#17

he’s Balonzed the fuck out of that the dirty bastard


#18

I did the opposite: whenever it had to go in for service, MOT etc I asked them to give it a clean and vac :relaxed:


#19

If I’m watching telly on my own I’ll pick my nails and put them in my pocket to bin them when i get up. Was lying on the sofa for ages, rolled up to bed and didn’t realise but I’d left a pile of toe and finger nails on the sofa


#20