Tim Lovejoy, Simon Rimmer, Soccer Aid and Songs of Praise are in a room

You arrange for the walls to close in on themselves until the contents of the room are squashed into a fine paste. Roger the Dodger installs a drain pipe so the solution can be collected, one polystyrene cup at a time, until you’ve ran out of cups.

You keep them in the fridge until you’re sick of the fucking sight of them and decide to dump the lot of them in a lay-by, ignoring the No Tipping sign.

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Walk north.

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Jim Lovetoy

This is nightmarish

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Isn’t there a risk the twattish goo you’ve harvested will reconstitute in to a nightmarish final form, like if they remade Akira but with a bloke who loves armchair punditry as every character?

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I’ll defend Rimmer and Lovejoy to the end. Nothing more sublimely low-level awkward than Sunday Brunch

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Tim Lovejoy’s SoccerAm years was one of my favourite things

Amazing how long it’s been going as well. Like 14 years or something.

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Reckon it’d be a better show if it were presented by these two:


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Quite like Soccer Aid just for those bits where someone like Carles Puyol will clatter someone out of 911 or something with a big tackle.

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Imagine soccerade

Like a drink made out of footballs

SOUNDS LIKE A LARK AND A HALF

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You’d end up bladdered.

Classic TV

Topless Weather in association with gravy

How do two people so utterly devoid of charisma have jobs as TV presenters?!

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Fixtures man

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Boom boom boom let me hear you say fixtures

Sure I remember reading a brilliant takedown of Lovejoy years ago when his autobiography came out. Seems like a decent bloke though

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https://www.wsc.co.uk/the-archive/42-Media/145-no-love-no-joy

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Fashionably receding hair