You arrange for the walls to close in on themselves until the contents of the room are squashed into a fine paste. Roger the Dodger installs a drain pipe so the solution can be collected, one polystyrene cup at a time, until you’ve ran out of cups.
You keep them in the fridge until you’re sick of the fucking sight of them and decide to dump the lot of them in a lay-by, ignoring the No Tipping sign.
Walk north.
Jim Lovetoy
This is nightmarish
Isn’t there a risk the twattish goo you’ve harvested will reconstitute in to a nightmarish final form, like if they remade Akira but with a bloke who loves armchair punditry as every character?
I’ll defend Rimmer and Lovejoy to the end. Nothing more sublimely low-level awkward than Sunday Brunch
Tim Lovejoy’s SoccerAm years was one of my favourite things
Amazing how long it’s been going as well. Like 14 years or something.
Quite like Soccer Aid just for those bits where someone like Carles Puyol will clatter someone out of 911 or something with a big tackle.
Imagine soccerade
Like a drink made out of footballs
SOUNDS LIKE A LARK AND A HALF
You’d end up bladdered.
Classic TV
Topless Weather in association with gravy
How do two people so utterly devoid of charisma have jobs as TV presenters?!
Fixtures man
Boom boom boom let me hear you say fixtures
Sure I remember reading a brilliant takedown of Lovejoy years ago when his autobiography came out. Seems like a decent bloke though
Fashionably receding hair
