#1

You arrange for the walls to close in on themselves until the contents of the room are squashed into a fine paste. Roger the Dodger installs a drain pipe so the solution can be collected, one polystyrene cup at a time, until you’ve ran out of cups.

You keep them in the fridge until you’re sick of the fucking sight of them and decide to dump the lot of them in a lay-by, ignoring the No Tipping sign.

6 Likes
#2

Walk north.

9 Likes
#3

Jim Lovetoy

#4

This is nightmarish

1 Like
#5

Isn’t there a risk the twattish goo you’ve harvested will reconstitute in to a nightmarish final form, like if they remade Akira but with a bloke who loves armchair punditry as every character?

2 Likes
#6

I’ll defend Rimmer and Lovejoy to the end. Nothing more sublimely low-level awkward than Sunday Brunch

2 Likes
#7

Tim Lovejoy’s SoccerAm years was one of my favourite things

#8

Amazing how long it’s been going as well. Like 14 years or something.

1 Like
#9

Reckon it’d be a better show if it were presented by these two:

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8 Likes
#10

Quite like Soccer Aid just for those bits where someone like Carles Puyol will clatter someone out of 911 or something with a big tackle.

1 Like
#11

Imagine soccerade

Like a drink made out of footballs

SOUNDS LIKE A LARK AND A HALF

1 Like
#12

You’d end up bladdered.

#13

Classic TV

#14

Topless Weather in association with gravy

#15

How do two people so utterly devoid of charisma have jobs as TV presenters?!

3 Likes
#16

Fixtures man

1 Like
#17

Boom boom boom let me hear you say fixtures

#18

Sure I remember reading a brilliant takedown of Lovejoy years ago when his autobiography came out. Seems like a decent bloke though

2 Likes
#19

https://www.wsc.co.uk/the-archive/42-Media/145-no-love-no-joy

5 Likes
#20

Fashionably receding hair