I’ve compiled a helpful graph showing my habits over the years
found yourself at 19, I see
It’s just nice to collect my thoughts and assess how things have changed over the last six minutes since I last got bored and went for a toilet break
Also what the hell are you measuring the time in
Recently I’ve been taking increasingly more daring naps in the toilets
- time spent on the toilet
“still he persisted, what are you doing in there ?”
“nothing mum !”
Feels to me like there are some parameters missing here. Is this:
- average time per visit?
- average per day?
- average per week?
- total per day/week/year?
wow, now you’re asking
Behold the ravages of time spent in the toilet
Here for example. You spend 60 mins at work on the shitter. Over what period?
Ok, some context:
- These are all single visits
- My diet used to be terrible
- I nap on the toilet at work
- When I say nap I mean often I sit there with my eyes closed trying not to smell or hear what is happening around me, then after a period of restlessness maybe catch a few minutes sleep before waking up with a dead and very sore arse from sitting on the hard lid for so long, regretting everything
HE WANTS UNITS, DAMMIT.
minutes, its all in minutes
minutes per year, I see, got you.
No! Minutes per visit.
ie. At age 33 at work I spend on average 60 minutes on the toilet
It’s probably because i’ve got bowel cancer or something, but as soon as i got past thi…25 mine went from extraordinary piles-enducing marathons to literal pebbles.
Very similar to me, I was turning myself inside out on there for years and then suddenly it all clicked into place and I was in and out of there in 11 or 12 minutes.
Guess where I am now!