Tiny interactions from your life that you still think about

oh no i would say it in a bumbling, charming way. shes making small talk to pass the tedium of a day working in retail, i might as well own looking like a dafty

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Or just looking at them and being like “oh you have terrible taste actually, i’m gonna put that one back. Thanks!”


Oh god I’ve read that back and am getting 'Nam-style flashbacks. I think this bit was even more galling than the fish part:

Aye but… ok.


cwbaft. A vft indeed, Iron.

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I know man, the unclosed parentheses would haunt me as well.

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I did a charity hitchhike to Morocco in my first year of uni with two mates. We were at some service station in the arse end of nowhere and I managed to cadge us a lift on a tour bus full of elderly Spanish ladies. When we got off in Malaga we did the customary two kisses on the cheek to say goodbye and my very British friend was not prepared and ended up planting a huge kiss on the lips of the leader of the old ladies. He went very red and the entire tour bus laughed at him.


Just one of those where no matter how many apologies you can make it just doesnt matter !

When I was around nine years old my family went on to a holiday to South Africa. As a part of our three week(!) trip my parents rented a camper van and we went on a trip through the Kruger National Park. Probably one of my top ten life experiences was kneeling for hours on the top bunk with my head out the sunroof as we drove round the savannah looking for animals. I spotted a rhino, a pride of lions and elephants, which my parents and sister in the cabin below would likely never have spotted otherwise…

However, at one point we drove past a big coach full of people. I vividly remember the driver of the coach gesturing angrily that I should get down from there, and as the coach drove by us I remember some other passengers also gesturing to me to get down. One bloke that looke like Phil Neville had an especially big scowel on his face as he looked at me. After they drove past I asked my parents if I shouldn’t be up there and they confirmed to me that it was fine and the coach passengers were just envious of my privilaged position.

Later, at the campsite I saw the Phil Nevile-looking bloke again agross the way and started him in that way that kids do. He seemed to look at me with utter contempt, which I was quite shocked about as I was not used to arousing such strong emotions from strangers.

To this day, whislt remembering the great experience of the Kruger, its always marred by that fucking scowling, bloke and I wonder, was he really scowling at me, because I was a little kid having a better experience of the park… or did he just have a problem with his fucked-up Phil Nevile face…

memories …all these will be lost in time, like tears in rain.


Oh another one. This sounds made up but take my word that it did happen

Was in a club and saw my ex girlfriend come in. Been split a couple of years and were on talking terms but she recently started seeing an old course mate of mine and had deleted me on Facebook. Didnt speak to each other but caught the eye a couple of times. Came when I was leaving so I walked out but thought in my drunken state to go back. So i went back in the room to her and said something like ‘why did you delete me , I thought we were getting on okay’ or similar. She replied ‘i have no idea who you are’

Looking at her up close and not across a busy room, it was a complete stranger. I said nothing and just left and went home


i’ll admit i was expecting a punchline to this anecdote but I enjoyed it nevertheless

you missed out on getting boned rotten there my friend

Yes, sorry , realised I hadn’d got one so chucked in the ol Blade Runner ending in desperation

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He probably just didn’t want to see you eaten by a lion.

As you no doubt know you’re not supposed to get out of your vehicle in the park, except at specific places. I remember us sitting in our car at the edge of a large pool watching the (very dangerous) hippos splashing about near the (very dangerous and very well concealed) crocodiles. Two absolute gonks pulled up in their car, jumped out, ran to the water’s edge (near the crocodiles) took a load of pictures of the hippos then ran back to their car oblivious to the fact they’d just escaped with their lives.

To be honest thinking about your situation they were probably angry at you for inadvertently breaking the unwritten rules about not jumping your position in the imaginary queues to see things. We got some of that when we pulled up alongside someone to ask what they were looking at.

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^this. it’s the fact that she “claimed” she liked fish

oh god,

just remembered when my erstwhile work colleague Tom entered the gents as I was practicing my smile in the mirror*.

Don’t think either of us were able to look each other in the eye again after that.

*no, I wasn’t naked.


It’s about ten years since I entered the unlocked cubicle that one of my colleagues was taking a dump in. We’re both still here. We didn’t talk about it then and we haven’t talked about it since, but it’s the first thing I think of every time I see him.


I’m sure the feeling is mutual.

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You should both leave the cubicle IMO.


Yes, I’ve no doubt that the “no getting out” rule contribluted to their probable impotent rage at me. I thought I was rather clever at evading this rule via the sunroof. I was in more danger from the vehicle itself as I wasn’t wearing a seatbelt etc.

The coach was coming in the opposite direction but its funny you mention the queueing thing. We were very careful about respecting this after an incident near the begining of our trip. We overtook a stationary car that didn’t seem to be near any animals. AS we passed it it became apparent that the driver was about to take a photograph, with a very sophisticated looking camera lense, of a snake that was on the road right next to the car. My dad drove over said snake.