Tonight would you rather


Summer: Golf - weather is nice, Venice smells and you can’t move for people

Winter: Too cold and rainy for golf, Venice is freezing but still lovely and theres less tourists

  • Karaoke night at an Irish pub in benidorm
  • Full moon party with some lads on their gap year

0 voters

  • Walk home with Michael Gambon and let him stay at yours.
  • 6 hour train ride with Judy Dench (no table) and late dinner (you’re paying).

0 voters


Would rather go on the smash with Paul


That one can be arranged.




Walk home all the way from work?

  • Fist fight with Michael Gove
  • Charlie Bigham’s for one, 2 cans of high wire and an episode of grand designs

0 voters

  • vale tudo with a tory of your choice
  • chippy supper, 6 cans of stella and a couple of doobies

0 voters

  • Nandos with Ronnie pickering
  • Bella italia with the citizens arrest bloke
  • Byron burger with the cat bin lady

0 voters


this has fucking done me


Put your hands on the car and prepare to DINE, more like

  • Escape room with Stacey Dooley
  • Two hours in a lift with Morrissey

0 voters


Dooley is an annoying screen presence but seems like a decent enough person.


Misread it as Johnny Vegas. Who is Johnny Vaughan?


the star of hit noughties sitcom “orrible”


I reckon I’d win him over and he’d stop being a bastard by the end


Him off of The Big Breakfast with Denise van Outen.

I always mix him up with Jamie Theakston for some reason.