Top 5 qualities (both musical/non-musical) you look for in a band

Maybe not necessarily in that order

  1. Great tunes
  2. Intelligent, interesting and original lyrics
  3. Politically and ideologically sound
  4. Not a complete knock-off of their musical influences
  5. Don’t look and dress like twats
1 Like
  • Airhorns
  • Name no more than 4 letters long
  • Have a manifesto that contains the phrase, “rippin’ shit up”
  • More airhorns
  • Woodblock solos

Fred Durst
Cultural Appropriation
The Phil Collins Snare sound
Morrissey covers


Plagal cadence
5/4 time sig
A love of Moroccan coins
A non human band member


I think we can manage 4 of those. Anyone got a contact number for Fred?

They make me feel something.

1 Like

Singer called Donna
Guitarist called Donna
Bassist called Donna
Drummer called Donna
Thought-provoking lyrics

  • Bongos
  • Matching uniforms (with hat)
  • All songs under 2 minutes long
  • Only play live on a Thursday
  • At least two of the members are related
1 Like

Travel to all gigs by hot air balloon
All lyrics are in high elvish
When translated lyrics are FILTHY
Never eat corn on the cob in the recording studio
Each band member represented by a yucca plant on all sleeve art

1 Like

I like it when a band thanks me for coming to a gig, and wishes me a safe journey home. It’s just good manners.

1 Like
  • Escapism
  • Atmosphere (music that’s cinematic and/or conjures a sense of ‘place’)
  • Beautiful sounds
  • Emotional conviction
  • Great big fuck-off choruses with bells hanging off of them

Actually, escapism probably ties into the whole atmosphere thing, but oh well.

  • Proper band
  • Proper guitars
  • Proper tunes
  • Proper haircuts
  • Here to give the music scene a kick up the arse

I was thinking of starting a similar thread so top marks to the OP for saving me the hassle. I think my priorities are:

  • ambience/atmosphere: Same reason I like hillwalking, cycling, etc - If I can’t feel it, enjoying the absolute basics for what they are, then it does nothing for me. Loads of music has taken me an age to get into because it sounds so stale.

  • tunes/groove: If you can’t write something I can remember, move to, react to, then stop f**king trying.

That’s about it tbh. Although ‘not being cunts’ and ‘if I notice the lyrics they’re either amazing or embarrassing’ are up there too.

1 Like