Topical Joke Graveyard

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#1

This thread is for topical jokes that are no longer relevant.

Explain the context that made them funny if you’d like, or not.


#2

Q: How does Lethal Bizzle stay in shape?
A: Wii Fit yeah


#3

A team of physicists in Europe have developed a “cloak of invisibility.” The first order for one has been placed by Egypt’s President Hosni Mubarak.


#4

image


#5

idg any of these


#6


#7

When does Saddam Hussein have his dinner?

When Tariq Aziz!!


#8

Did you hear about Swampy having a heart attack?

The doctors warned him and tried to operate, but he wouldn’t have a bypass.


#9

Where does Saddam Hussein keep his CD’s?

In Iraq.


#10

Did you hear that Kenneth Starr has determined that it wasn’t semen on Monica Lewinsky’s dress? It was just soup.

Cock-a-leekie.


#11

why doesn’t Emu need viagra?

he already has a stiff rod


#12

I told that joke at a sixth form concert!

My mate also told a topical joke about Michael Jackson. But I won’t repeat it, as it was 2003.


#13

What’s pink and smells of curry?

John Major’s penis


#14

“I’m just going to do my Gerry Adams impression”

*pretends to speak but without any sound coming out*


#15

everything about this is revolting


#16


#17

What goes stiff after 3 strokes?

Princess Margaret.


#18

Why should you not wear loose underpants in Russia?

Because Chernobyl fall-out.


#19

Why are there no aspirin tablets in the jungle?

Because the parrots eat 'em all!


#20

Where do Gladiators keep their toothpaste?

In the Shadow cabinet