Topical Joke Graveyard



This thread is for topical jokes that are no longer relevant.

Explain the context that made them funny if you’d like, or not.


Q: How does Lethal Bizzle stay in shape?
A: Wii Fit yeah


A team of physicists in Europe have developed a “cloak of invisibility.” The first order for one has been placed by Egypt’s President Hosni Mubarak.




idg any of these



When does Saddam Hussein have his dinner?

When Tariq Aziz!!


Did you hear about Swampy having a heart attack?

The doctors warned him and tried to operate, but he wouldn’t have a bypass.


Where does Saddam Hussein keep his CD’s?

In Iraq.


Did you hear that Kenneth Starr has determined that it wasn’t semen on Monica Lewinsky’s dress? It was just soup.



why doesn’t Emu need viagra?

he already has a stiff rod


I told that joke at a sixth form concert!

My mate also told a topical joke about Michael Jackson. But I won’t repeat it, as it was 2003.


What’s pink and smells of curry?

John Major’s penis


“I’m just going to do my Gerry Adams impression”

*pretends to speak but without any sound coming out*


everything about this is revolting



What goes stiff after 3 strokes?

Princess Margaret.


Why should you not wear loose underpants in Russia?

Because Chernobyl fall-out.


Why are there no aspirin tablets in the jungle?

Because the parrots eat 'em all!


Where do Gladiators keep their toothpaste?

In the Shadow cabinet