Training. The work kind.
I don’t do training, thankfully. But now it appears in my job I do a little bit because I am.
Let’s all talk about what we like and do not like about going to training.
I will not incorporate, or actively avoid, any of your suggestions as I have already put together what I am going to show and do.
Training. The work kind.
I like a handout I can keep and take home, even when a digital copy is readily available
I like it when we all do an introduction and have to give a fact or something about ourselves
- Yes, I like this as am a me, me, me psychopath
- Please leave me alone. Is me being here not enough for you?
Good for doodling on, but it’s going in the back of a cupboard forever when I get back to the office.
I like to
- Sit and watch a presentation style thing
- I like to get my hands dirty trying stuff for myself. Maybe working through some examples
- I do not like anything like that
During the presenter presenting their training bit I like to
- Listen quietly
- Query things as they are talking
- Imagine killing the people querying things while the presenter presenting their training bit is talking
e) interrupt with barely related points intended to make me look clever
not really. Imagine being one of those people.
Feedback forms at the end
- I want to fill something in.
- I cba to tell you how to make this less awful
- Always fill in as all positive because you might know if I slag you off and I think you might be watching me right now
- I use to give thoughtful, constructive feedback
- Return blank
ok so that’s end of the presentation. any questions?
- ooh yes, me. i was wondering about…
- let my people go
I think all I’ve ever learned from work training sessions is which of my colleagues I hate, and why.
Having a chat to someone whilst someone else is presenting
- I do it all the time
- Those people are literally worse than hitler
You attend a 2 hour training session. There is no tea, coffee or biscuits
- Why would there be? It’s only 2 hours
- You fucking kidding me mate?
If there aren’t any posh biscuits I’m going to sit there, arms folded, glaring at you for two hours.
“Let’s have a look at the Agenda.”
- 0930 - 1030: Icebreaker activity
- FO,M and shoot me now
I like how the majority of training sessions I’ve been on the trainer has actually said something like “Now, I know a lot of people don’t like this/find it embarrassing etc”
YET THERE THEY ARE, DOING IT STILL BECAUSE IT’S IN SOME TRAINING ABC PSYCHO MANUAL
“Tell everyone two facts about yourself and one lie - and see if anyone can guess the lie!”
- I was forced to come here
- I’d really rather not be here
- I have not contemplated burning this whole building down several times already
OK guys, in your table groups have a think about the issues and write the most important ones on your whiteboards.
- So what does everyone think? I’ll be the scribe, if everyone can read my handwriting HA HA!
- I’ll make a couple of suggestions, enough to look like I can be bothered
- Cold dead silence
Have to run some training sessions at work and each one has 2 half hour ice breaker things built into the agenda. Just take a show of hands to either do them or leave early at the end of the say. Some people actually vote for the ice breaker. Nuts
The ice breaker should be that everyone else gets to hit those people with pool cues.