Travel stories

eggs

#1

Seeing as it’s travel day on dis I want to know about things that have happened to you while travelling, like bellends who’ve talked about you for hours straight on a plane and not taken the hint to shut up.

A friend was sat on a long haul flight beside someone who kept letting off foul smelling guffs.


#2

I’ve said this before but I sat next to a grown adult man who watched Guardians of the Galaxy, in silence without subtitles or headphones or anything twice in a row, literally just restarted it when it ended and watched it all again, in silence.


#3

Once let off a bunch of foul smelling guffs on a long haul flight, because the person sat next to me looked like far too much of a bedwetter to say anything about it.


#4

I have a pretty good knack for falling asleep immediately after take-off and waking up just as we start descending. Obviously preferable but means I don’t have any stories, I dribbled a little bit in my sleep on my last flight and one of my pals took a photo of me


#5

have you ever woken up on the plane with a big erection?

(I haven’t, I can’t sleep on planes)


#6


#7


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#9

last week, some bloke farted as he passed me next to the bus stop and, it was early in the morning so I didn’t have my usual sense of restraint, and I exclaimed ‘wtf man!’. He looked really embarrassed, and I felt bad for a while after. :pensive:


#10

Still my favourite from that very thread…


#11

Come back @badvibes


#12

Mildly harrowing, but I was on a train about 10 years ago where some kids had found one of the tannoy phones that are usually kept behind the little lock next to the door, and played bound 4 da reload by oxide & neutrino over it on repeat for about 20 minutes. the funniest thing was that the guard wasn’t doing anything about it other than asking them to stop over the tannoy from another spot in the train, at which point they’d stop for about a minute and then resume.

was hilarious.


#13

Once sat next to a Mexican nun on a bus from San Cristobal de las casa to Mexico city.
I had a cold and kept sneezing. She kept saying bless you or ‘holy mary’ or something and crossing herself each time. Was quite endearing for the first 2 minutes but I wanted to hit her about 2 hours in. Think the feeling was mutual tbf.


#14

I’m glad I started this thread now


#15

I once dropped my train ticket getting the night train from Kraków to Prague. The ticket woman made me get off in some station in a small town in the middle of nowhere in the night on the border between Poland and the Czech Republic where I had to wait nine hours for the next train to Ostrava to then get to Prague. There was a man at that station who had the filthiest cough I have ever heard and kept spitting up tar. He kept trying to talk to me in Polish.


#16

Sat next to a guy called Brock on a greyhound bus between Marathon, Ontario and Winnipeg who thought that all Englishmen lived in haunted castles and literally WOULD NOT believe me either than Eric Clapton was English nor that the Channel Tunnel existed.

He was alright.


#17

fantastic stuff


#18

I do think this one of my all-time favourite posts


#19

Was getting the train from Preston to Edinburgh and somebody who couldn’t speak much English came up to me and pointed at his (Edinburgh) ticket and pointed at the platform sign and said “Supermarket?” a lot. I managed to explain that this was the Edinburgh train, and I’m getting it too so I’ll stick with you, and yes I’m sure there’s a supermarket at the other end (?).

The only other word he seemed to know was coffee and he kept trying to get me one in gratitude. I said no, but when we changed trains at York he disappeared and came back with a big grin and exclaimed “no coffee - RED BULL!!” and handed me one, then kept going on about supermarkets again.

I woke up on the train to him poking me and shoving his phone into my face. I groggily take it and some guy says “thank you so much for looking after my brother and making sure he gets off the train at Haymarket”, and a lightbulb went off above my head and everything made sense.

This is a rubbish story.


#20

Got wanked off on an empty overnight bus from Nottingham to Newcastle