In a flat everyone can hear you miaow

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SHE’S COMING OUT OF THE GODDAMN BED!

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It’s getting very tense

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Somebody needs to make this into some sort of thriller film

Starring Liam Neeson (as the cat) perhaps.

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My wife has just used a broom to shoo the cat outside whilst shouting (unconvincingly) “go away you don’t live here”

Not sure the landlady is gonna buy that

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Subtle.

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Unless she opens a cupboard and a jillion kitty toys spew out and there’s photos of you hugging the cat in different rooms on the fridge I don’t think there’s any real evidence.

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[Mournful strings play]

“If she finds her we’re finished!”

“Don’t you think I know that?!”

[Strings intensify]

“I’ll just check the radiator in the…”

[Shot of The Wife looking pensively at Liam Neeson as he stands in the bedroom]

"…bathroom…”

[The Wife breathes a sigh of relief]

[The strings go mental]

“Shoo, you don’t belong here cat!”

“How funny, that cat seems like he knows this place…”

[Sweet jesus the strings!]

“You can’t be here now!”

Liam Neeson: “Miaow?”

“You’re going to ruin us all!”

Title card:

Tiny Hairy Prick Cat
Summer 2019

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Incredible

Are these messages from your wife or the cat?

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Not sure at this point

It’s over. It’s finally over

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Completely nocturnal now, decided to just go with it and stay up until 4am before I even try and sleep, with the intention of one day breaking the cycle and getting up at 9am, but I dont break the cycle I just get up later and later each day, totally wasting my annual leave

Not only that, they’ve already sent the payment!

Need to expense stuff more often, clearly!

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I cannot stand being room meat for another week it is so horrid just sitting here doing nothing. Honestly just want to crack a can and smoke rollies after work every day because I’m so bored.

That said, I had a nice bitta cous cous for lunch

I’ve done this a few times after running up big credit bills. As long as you know how long you’ve got interest free for, and can pay the bill in that time, it works fine.

Make sure you fix your payment rate though. Last time I did one, I forgot to uncheck the ‘clear balance each month’ that Barclaycard offer and unexpectedly ended up shelling out £600 of my overdraft just before my mortgage application.

PSA

Rummo pasta for £1 offer is back at Sainos. Stock up everyone

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Am surprised this didn’t end with your gf and the landlady both being locked out of the flat by the cat, c.f. The Flintstones

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my family had like 2 packets of this and I laughed at them and waved one of the packets in their faces saying something like ‘tesco spaghetti not good enough for you anymore huh!!!’

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