Turning something bad into a victory (free lesson thread)

Some mother fucker fly tipped a mattress at our back gate. So we’ve called the council and they are picking it up in the next seven days. I then decided to get our old mattress out of the garage and have propped that next to the fly tipper.


With him/her noticing? Stealthy.

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In which the fly tipper becomes the fly tippee.

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You’re a classic opportunist, Lord Sugar would definitely hire you

Now your neighbours think you did the first one too.

No… Because it is sort of on my property and I’m sitting it out. I’m thinking more hero-opportunist.

I got sprung by my neighbour as I was doing it but he’s Scottish so was fine with it.

Well I for one really admire your work. Always have.

Cheers mate

I don’t reckon they’ll take it. I think they will have it written down that they only have to collect one. It’ll be great if they just took yours.

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Mine is a double and theirs is a child’s single. Mine is on top so they will take it and then surely they will take the little one.

I will reveal all within the next seven days.


ok great

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Mate, they’re bin men. They go out of their way to be awkward. If it says ‘one mattress’, they will probably take ‘one mattress’.

As much as I appreciate your attempt at making hay while the sun is shining.

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Seven days!

Maybe I should sew then together


I had a mattress that was old and very uncomfortable so bought a new one. Was going to take the old one down the tip at the next available weekend, hassle! So in the interim I put it on gum tree for 25 bones. It actually sold, making me £25 and no need to take it the dump as it was collected.
The sting in the tale was when selling it I realized it was so uncomfortable as it had been the wrong way round and I had been lying on the bare spring side rather than the padded side, balls!

My old mattress (the one in question) was so fucking awful. Spent big bucks on a new one and now my life is three times better.

Your preaching to the converted however I got a standard double as I was single at the time, now I am seeing a girl who is quite tall and the bed gets a little bit cramped.

Yeah we went up to King but my son comes in every night and sleeps sideways so it’s still cramped

The seven days was up on Friday so we rang them. They had gone to the wrong place to look for them and when they couldn’t find anything it did not cross their mind to contact us. They promised to come this week.

Then, not 15 minutes ago they came and collected BOTH!

What a magnificent conclusion to this tale. And all you " they will only collect one people"… well I shall rise above it and wish you all a very pleasant day.