NOEL’S GROUSE PARTY
Spend Christmas morning at Crinkley Bottom with an increasingly embittered Noel Edmonds, as he decides to stop travelling the country to hand out seasonal cheer to unsung heroes and terminally ill children. “Fuck them”, sneers Noel, who has decided to shut out the outside world and barricade himself inside his stately home with only several crates of Famous Grouse whisky for company. “It’s not as if they ever fucking keep in touch afterwards, the ungrateful bastards”, slurs Noel, from his armchair in the gloomily lit Great Hall, surrounded by empty takeaway cartons and his own filth.
Light relief is provided by Tony Blackburn and Bella Emberg turning up at the front door to run through a laboured joke centred around a turkey.