so far I think I’ve been 5 of these
Someone acting like they’ve injected heroin after inhaling poppers
craft beer wanker refusing to put their £5 tins in the fridge in case they get snaffled and they’re left with foster’s
Guy posted up selling hundreds of nitrous baloons
lad with shaving cream all over his face who does a forward roll down the stairs
The person that everyone’s been making snide remarks about all night turning up at 2am
the straight edge guy who gets very upset with you
Always grateful for people at a party who are just that perfect level of amiability. Will happily come and chat to you if you don’t know many people there, but won’t overstay their welcome. Good eggs.
the ket lads who upon doing a patrol of the house at around 2am will be found either talking to the wall, accusing you of stealing something from them (in this case, a jewlery box) they’ve found in your room despite only meeting them a few hours earlier, or bleaching their feet in the toilet with harpic.
held a party with all three of these lads in attendance once, hope they’re okay.
must be a real talent to stay level headed at a party and not believe your own bullshit
The people who have got babysitters and will probably arrive earlier, leave earlier and be more sober than everyone else. They do an excellent job of attending the party without anyone ever remembering they’ve been there. Stealth guests.
the middle-upper class anarcho black tracksuit punx who arrive with a bag of holsten pils and then form a group in the living room not talking to anyone else.
wow London is cool
You’ve been to a Fenino then
the guy who jumps out of the 2nd floor window onto the trampoline and breaks his leg, has to leave the party in an ambulance
the guy who is too fucking good at wii bowling
his relative, Wes
Remember being at a lot of parties with people in bands who liked to dress so that everyone knew that they were probably in a band and taking great delight in telling them I didn’t know who they were, even if I did (often didn’t) and that I’d never heard of their band, even if I had (often hadn’t)
‘Don’t even look at my girlfriend’ guys