#1

Earlier I was at Lambeth College reception - waiting to take an exam (which was an utter fucking shambles but that’s for another thread) - which was right next to the college’s theatre. You could hear a girl absolutely murdering Material Girl, appallingly out of tune. It absolutely did me and my fellow exam takers.

Now u.

#2

I was eating dinner in a cafe earlier and the guy at the table next to me spent about 10 minutes going on about how he hated Scottish people and Scottish accents. As I was leaving he asked for something off my table, and the look on his face when I replied in a Scottish accent was priceless!

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#3

:’’'D

#4

Doing my Christmas shopping yesterday, and some guy pelts past on a bike with two people in Toys R Us uniforms chasing him. They’re not going to catch him, but big lad security has cut across the car park and he might just make it! But no! Bike man’s spotted him and is going to serve away just in time. But no!! Big lad security guard’s got one last thing tucked away in his pocket!

Literally. He threw a biro at him as hard as he could. I can only assume he thought he might be able to knock him off the bike if he threw the pen hard enough.

Absolutely did me.

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