Universal condiment exceptions

Mayo with chips


Does anyone remember when Hilary Clinton said “I don’t know who made Pokemon Go but I hope we can make people Pokemon Go to the polls” or something like that?

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walk out of any restaurant that doesn’t have a bottle of this on the table

I heard that some places up north put gravy on their chips, what the fuck is with that?


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After eating and paying for your food presumably?

What about an Indian restaurant?

Mate, KFC gravy is the best chip condiment there is


some places in cornwall chuck curry flavoured sauce over their chips.



Chips can withstand pretty much any condiment.


You’d have to eat them with a fork.

Nothing more Tory.

Except people who cut up a fucking burger with a knife and fork.

Reckon anyone ever puts ketchup in a bag of crisps?

Good morning dragons. I’m here to ask for £100K for a 5% share in my new condiment business.

I first spotted a gap in the condiment market when…

Aye good one

You dip them in a pot of gravy using your hands

Think they normally put crisps in there.

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I’d rather not but will allow it

sauce rankings:

  1. ketchup
  2. bbq sauce
  3. sweet chilli/normal chilli. sriracha, that sort of thing
  4. brown

all other condiments should be banned. mayo, salad cream, coleslaw, mustard, all disgusting.

tell you what is a bizarrely popular sauce…brown sauce. Absolute shite. Imagine liking it over ketchup, mayo, mustard, bbq, tartare, literally any sauce? 2/10 at best

  • I agree
  • I disagree as am old and obnoxiously British

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What does brown sauce taste like again?