Why does Belinda Carlisle inspire such blood lust?
In secondary school there was some sort of rota system for assembly that meant that each of the teachers had to lead it at least once a term. Usually it was pretty dull, but one time a newly-joined music teacher gave an assembly that was off the scale weird.
He started by saying that the strangest things are often the most memorable, and then started hopping and jumping around the stage shouting âGUM GEECH, GA GUM GUM GEECHâ and clapping erratically. He then tried to encourage people to join in, but no one wanted to. Then he asked for a volunteer to help him with an experiment, and got a first year out of the front row to come onstage. They faced each other on stage, the teacher got an egg out of his pocket and put it between their hands and they pushed their hands together until the egg smashed and there was egg all over the stage. Then he did some more GA GUM GUM GEECH-ing and that was it. There was a weird silence and we filed out.
About a year later the music teacher had to leave the school because it turned out he didnât have any teaching qualifications.
I am dying inside just reading this.
Our head teacher gathered the whole of my primary school to watch as she climbed onto a shed roof and picked some apples from the apple tree. As she was reaching for an apple the roof collapsed and she disappeared from sight. She was fine but it was a pretty stupid thing to do.
A double decker school bus toppled over near my house. It was on the news and everything.
The only person hurt was some guy who hopped over a fence to try and help the kids but in the process managed to break his ankle. Lols.
Wooow
a kid beat me at Pog and got to keep my caps. I lied to the teacher that he stole them and he got disciplined - later expelled (did some other stuff luckily) feels bad still
The arrogance of this!
Someone implied that the Swiss student teacher was a Nazi. He was so upset, it was horrible.
not sure who that is, sorry
Princess Pan
What character was he?
âAnd after all, youâre head of Key Stage Fourâ
He was a DCI
In it for years
Everyone was shouting âtoshâ at him but it wasnât tosh.
I remember an old man in a suit turned up with an electronic drumkit once at primary school and he gave a special assembly.
He kept shouting things like âthis is how they made the helicopter noises in James Bond!â
blank faces
Was all very weird.
When I went out for lunch, he was sat at the back of his volvo estate smoking a cigarette and looking really sad
Gonna do this if I ever get a promotion at work
Did you get ever sportspeople doing special PE lessons?
We were in South Wales, so of course we had Scottish Coventry City legend Tommy Hutchinson do a few football sessions in primary school.
We had Colin Jackson come to the School and as one of the athletic superstars of the School (I won 1500m in the 1st year sports day - I was now in year 4 but still cruising on this reputation) I got to train with him and go to a Q&A!!
He was my hero at the time (genuinely)
I had some amazing questions to ask him about Renaldo Nehemiah and Tony Jarrett but I completely bottled asking them Too starstruck.
Just reminded me that Graeme Murty came into our school for PE and bet my mate Alan that heâd never save a penalty against him.
Alan bravely took an absolute thunderbolt of a kick directly on the thigh, saving it. The ball hit him so hard you could read âMitreâ on his skin.
On a beautiful summer morning in 2003 I, a year 12, dear reader, was in a politics lesson on the upper floor of the school with all the windows open. On top of the hill next to the school, unbeknownst to us at the time, there was one of those nuclear early warning systems/air raid siren things - it wasnât very loud where we were and clearly it was just being tested, but it has always stuck in my mind - a gentle breeze on a sunny day punctuated by the oscillating whine of impending doom. Really uncanny.
Oh, and also Gavin Peacock came to my primary school to try and convert us all. Really uncanny.