Unwieldy/dangerous/awkward/daft things you've had to transport


#1

I was initially thinking of restricting this to motor vehicles, but I’m going to open it up to transporting things on your bike, by supermarket trolley, by public transport… whatever. It’s Friday.

Please answer with:
Item
Mode of transport
any other amusing details / particular points of danger

I’ll start:

Item - three-seater sofa
Mode of transport - the back of a 1995 Ford Fiesta
any other amusing details / particular points of danger I took this down the A14 with little more than a bit of rope round the back of it. I’d say that around 50% of the sofa was poking out of the back.


#2

Item - an Xbox One
Mode of transport - bicycle
Any other amusing details / particular points of danger - nearly fell in the canal when I changed arms to distribute the weight and forgot to steer into the heavy side


#3

Item - bass amp head and speaker cab
Mode of transport - bus
Details - gigging when nobody has access to a car is an utter ball-ache


#4

I’m that person who’s like “I don’t need a taxi lol I can take it on the bus” and end up nearly doing my back in. Probably furniture from ikea in a big long box taken back on the bus or the time I tried to carry a clothes rail and a set of drawers from argos back to my house (managed, barely)


#5

It wasn’t me, but one of my brother’s friends:

Item - A pint of bitter
Mode of transport - The driver’s seat of a car, make and model unknown
any other amusing details / particular points of danger - they were in town for a game expo, and drove to the wrong hotel, but by the time he’d realised his error he’d already ordered a pint. So he had a choice: He could either abandon his pint, down it and risk an accident or a drink-driving charge, or carefully transport it to the right hotel by holding it in one hand while operating the steering wheel/gears with the other. And for some reason, don’t ask me why, the image of that is one of the funniest things ever for me.


#6

Imagine getting done for drink driving because you’re too tight to leave your pint.


#7

Was there nobody in the car with him to hold his pint?! That’s just ridiculous.


#8

A door, but it has its own freestanding frame so it opens without a wall.
5ppl carrying it

Rather boring really, just drunk folk asking why u have a door


#9

It was just him.


#10

Item All equipment for a 3-piece band
Mode of transport Bus/tube/train
any other amusing details / particular points of danger By god it was awful. used to be in a band who didn’t drive, and got offered a festival in Norwich. Took a drum kit, bass guitar & amp, guitar & amp and our camping stuff on the coach from Oxford to London, then across London on the tube, then on the train to Norwich. And back again. NEVER again.


#11

Alright, Monsters Inc


#12

It doesn’t seem that bad when you set off, does it? Then fifteen minutes in and it’s literally the worst experience of your life.


#13

surely if you were seen driving a car with a pint in one hand they could do you for drink-driving anyway?


#14

Yeah. The coach bit was totally fine because the coach basically stopped outside our house and we could just load it into the back. Crossing London with it was absolute HELL.

I’ve also often had to transport a double bass and amp across London which is really shit. Partly because you get so many ‘funny’ comments from passers-by:

  • ‘That’s a big violin’
  • ‘Bet you wish you played the flute’

etc


#15

“your g string’s snapped”


#16

Urgh.

I’ve just remembered I missed out on sex once because I had a cab, two amp heads and two guitars to get back on the bus and I couldn’t face lumping that lot to her place then back to mine.

She texted me after I got home to say, and I quote, “you absolute fud”.


#17

Hahahaha amazing. She is a keeper.


#18

I remember actually quite liking transporting my guitar on public transport when I was a teenager. I think that, in my head, I was hoping for some beautiful indie-loving girl to ask me what bands I was into, etc etc. In reality, I just got loads of middle/old-aged men saying “YOU GOT A TOMMY GUN IN THERE? LOL”


#19

:smiley: :smiley:


#20

100% accurate. Terrible.

I used to have a residency with a jazz trio at a bar in Oxford - it was weekly and we played between 11pm and 2am. I’d have to take my bass and amp on the bus back - it was the last bus back to my house and was absolutely rammed full of drunks who had poured out of the clubs. I was usually in a suit too. That was the worst.