Virtual Personal Assistants (Alexa, Echo, etc.)

Kind of a niche thing for yuppies right now but they’re coming, aren’t they? How you feeling about it:

  • Alexa, please tell eric to fuck off with his shit thread
  • Bit shite but i’ll probably relent soon enough
  • I will try to avoid them for as long as poss but at some point they’ll be unavoidable innit
  • Nope nope nope I’ll be in cold cold ground before I use one
  • i thought VPA stood for vice presidents association lol (or similar)

0 voters

There’s already this deeply worrying strain of thought that they know more about us than we do ourselves and can become our best most optimised selves if only we listen to an algorithm. Bollocks isn’t it… OR IS IT??

@moker to thread pls


you mean like a Filofax?

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I have never really used Siri but I have started using our Alexa device for a) playing music, b) setting alarms, and c) reading news briefings / giving the weather forecast. I’d cope without it.

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alexa, please explain to epimer what you are please

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that’s how they get you, isn’t it

Think it’s called @discobot, pal.

Hi! To find out what I can do, say @discobot display help.

I found that story of alexa buying stuff for people after hearing its ‘name’ on the news funny

Really need set up my hacked together one again. I basically just used it for early morning news/weather.

@discobot please order eric some more extra soft toilet paper

I am resigned to the fact that 5 years from now I’m going to be one of the overwhelming minority still reliant on things like my own brain to know how to do things.


Random thoughts in no particular order:

  • It’s going to take forever before people get over the social awkwardness of speaking to them in public
  • Alexa is a fucking stupid activation word. “ALEXA, DINNER’S READY” “Playing Dinner Is Ready by The CNK”
  • It was quite fun for ten minutes yesterday asking the Google Assistant if it could clean up / sing / whether it was depressed/lonely etc"
  • Potentially useful in a car, don’t think I’d want it in my house or anything though.

Yeah but I think for it to have much more functionality I’d have to set it up to be connected to my phone and stuff which isn’t going to happen. It’s main aim is to keep you within Amazon’s ecosystem as much as possible and buy stuff but I’d never use it to buy anything (though we do use Amazon Fresh and I could see myself saying “Alexa, add kitchen roll to this week’s order” or something, so maybe I’m talking shit).

Imagine the endless japes if your other half, kid, sibling, parent or housemate was called Alexa.

i know, fucking sheeple!

Remember a couple of my mates had one at their flat, and actually used it frequently, even whilst I was there.

Was truly awful.

Got three Alexa dots and 2 Alexa enabled Sonos ones. Main danger is I can save my favourite take away orders and then order them by just asking for them.

Also able to time stuff, set alarms, change music, change lights, ask questions and all sorts when cooking, washing up, showering or bathing so it’s a yes from me, Clive.

Enjoy the Stone Age indie points

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Won an Alexa in a raffle earlier this year. It’s plugged into the stereo and being used for Internet radio and Spotify streaming. And nothing else, obviously.

“Alexa, sub off Lovren and bring on …err… Oxlade-Chamberlain”