"Wait a minute, this isn't Albatross!" (Awful riddles thread)


#2221

Is the note a suicide note from Mike who’d already off’ed himself? Then Pat… Idk… DIED OF GUILT.


#2222

Not a fan of all this scrolling up to re-read sapso. Brevity is the key to riddling I’d say.


#2223

and to making toasted sandwiches


#2224

#2225

Aw fuck me, yes.

Five minutes of faff, 30s of nom, five minutes of clean.

WORST.


#2226

The paper IS Mike’s suicide note.

Pat does not read it.

The dent in Mike’s head is from the skillet.


#2227

Apart from the died of guilt bit…Yes.


#2228

Have you got something constructive to suggest, Jezmond?


#2229

the bit of paper was a letter from the hospital telling pat that he needed a kidney transplant. mike was the only one who could have donated the kidney. he had already panned him when he read it so he ice knifed himself.


#2230

The suicide note explains how Pat has poisoned Mike’s food so they both die together and then he smacks himself in the head with a baseball bat.


#2231

Alright, Maigret.


#2232

Mike’s suicide note possibly does mention poison.

No one smacks themselves in the head with anything.


#2233

Yes, please remove any extraneous details from any future cards with red pen or at least post the photo of the card again every time you reply to somebody.


#2234

mike had written his suicide not saying he was going to top himself so that pat could get the cash, specifically mentioning that he would poison himself as any pan wound would invalidate the insurance policy. but pat had already panned mike before he read the letter so ice knifed himself out of guilt / boredom


#2235

Tell you what. You can be my assistant and post the card again below my response each time.

I’ll pay you 5p a day.


#2236

Mike has already poisoned himself and Pat, Pat doesn’t know this and bludgeons the already dead body of Mike with the skillet before succumbing to the poison OOFT


#2237

#2238

Yes.

Now, work out the detail.


#2239

#YOU OWE ME 5P!


#2240

Okay

So Pat carries out his plan and smacks Mike on the head with the skillet.

He then leans over and takes a big swig of Mike’s drink to steady his nerves. As he did so he noticed Mike’s suicide note, which explained he’d killed himself by poisoning his own drink.

Pat is now also poisoned and sits down to die.