"Wait a minute, this isn't Albatross!" (Awful riddles thread)


Is the note a suicide note from Mike who’d already off’ed himself? Then Pat… Idk… DIED OF GUILT.


Not a fan of all this scrolling up to re-read sapso. Brevity is the key to riddling I’d say.


and to making toasted sandwiches



Aw fuck me, yes.

Five minutes of faff, 30s of nom, five minutes of clean.



The paper IS Mike’s suicide note.

Pat does not read it.

The dent in Mike’s head is from the skillet.


Apart from the died of guilt bit…Yes.


Have you got something constructive to suggest, Jezmond?


the bit of paper was a letter from the hospital telling pat that he needed a kidney transplant. mike was the only one who could have donated the kidney. he had already panned him when he read it so he ice knifed himself.


The suicide note explains how Pat has poisoned Mike’s food so they both die together and then he smacks himself in the head with a baseball bat.


Alright, Maigret.


Mike’s suicide note possibly does mention poison.

No one smacks themselves in the head with anything.


Yes, please remove any extraneous details from any future cards with red pen or at least post the photo of the card again every time you reply to somebody.


mike had written his suicide not saying he was going to top himself so that pat could get the cash, specifically mentioning that he would poison himself as any pan wound would invalidate the insurance policy. but pat had already panned mike before he read the letter so ice knifed himself out of guilt / boredom


Tell you what. You can be my assistant and post the card again below my response each time.

I’ll pay you 5p a day.


Mike has already poisoned himself and Pat, Pat doesn’t know this and bludgeons the already dead body of Mike with the skillet before succumbing to the poison OOFT




Now, work out the detail.





So Pat carries out his plan and smacks Mike on the head with the skillet.

He then leans over and takes a big swig of Mike’s drink to steady his nerves. As he did so he noticed Mike’s suicide note, which explained he’d killed himself by poisoning his own drink.

Pat is now also poisoned and sits down to die.