ROSCOE: Marlon you’ve been in that bathroom for quite a while now
MARLON: I’ll be out in a minute I promise
ROSCOE: You said that seventeen years ago
MARLON: Just don’t come in
ROSCOE: I’m sorry I have to. I really need to brush my teeth. Seventeen years of not doing so has played merry hell on my dental hygiene. Cultures have formed on my teeth and gums to such an extent that individual cultures are in conflict with one another over issues of ideology and belief systems
ROSCOE kicks the door down and upon spying MARLON’s actions in the bathroom, he has to admit to himself that this is quite a staggering sight indeed
ROSCOE: What the blazes-?
MARLON: I’m sorry Roscoe, you have seen my secret shame
ROSCOE: What are all these magazines? Why are the pages all stuck together
MARLON: Oh Roscoe, you’ve rumbled my plotted indulgences! Yes, as all the lovely readers at home will surely have ascertained, I have set up an independent printing enterprise in this, our bathroom! I am publishing magazines all about my favourite Hungarian modernist architect Roland A. Wank! And you see that in my panic to get this shipment of top quality Wank mags to the suppliers by tomorrow that I’ve had an accident with the binding process and the pages have fused!
ROSCOE: I don’t know what to say
MARLON: I understand fully if you wish to turn me into the appropriate authorities for running an underground press away from the eyes of our King George III
ROSCOE: Marlon you don’t understand. It is not illegal to do this, and George III has not been our monarch since 1820
MARLON: So much has changed over the course of these seventeen years