Wanking Tales

wanking
tales
masturbation
onanism
selfpleasure

#1

That feeling when you go to bed and find your jazz mag there on your bed.

No words spoken, no story about how it got there (you don’t want to think about the chain of events that led to it ending up there).

The realisation that you’d left it in the toilet and forgotten to rehide it.

You’d think once would be enough for you to never do it again, but it isn’t, and each time it happens you die a little inside.

Ah memories.


#2

Was it you who had the story about the chinese restaurant ‘experience’? Very hazy memory from old DiS.


#3


#4

It was indeed


#5

Just found it with some astute googling :joy:
Wedged in the Secrets of Youth classic thread


#6

its not even 10 in the morning!


#7

#8

@colon_closed_bracket started it


#9

Oh God. Ended up finding that thread and dissolved into a laughing fit for about ten minutes. The reactions are better than the initial post.


#10

image


#11

i used to live next door to a well known celebrity, who has a fairly distinctive voice. i was told about him living next door pretty much the day i moved in, but he was’t around for a while - probably away with work or whatever

the first time i had proof that he did actually live next door was suddenly hearing his voice, loud and clear outside the front of the house one morning, while i was in bed in the middle of a… y’know


#12

“is that… joe pasquale? in the garden? what can he possibly want?”


#13

Imagine reaching your vinegar strokes just as Brian Blessed starts talking to the postman outside your window.


#14

Just had a wank


#15

JordansNumbers


#16

#17


:heart:


#18

Thread bookmarked.


#19

Careful the pages don’t stick together.


#20

glad this post is bringing in the likes, was overlooked at the time