Was getting my hair cut the other week and after a bit the hairdresser said "you aren't the most talkative are you?"

I said “No.”


I wouldn’t go back again. I want a haircut not a chat.


That hairdresser should have to hand in their hairdressing badge and their hairdressing gun, that’s just not on

I love a good chat with my hairdresser. That’s all I’ve got.

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Don’t knock yourself Richie. Your post conclusively proves that both jordan and jordan’s hairdresser were correct and is therefore a very useful contribution.

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You’re a good man filth. Don’t let anyone tell you any different.

When I used to go to a new hairdressers I’d think, wow I could use this to create a whole new persona, a whole new life. But then I thought, what if they cut my hair really well and I have to live a fake life if I want to go back to them. What if they turn out to be a really good person, and become my friend and then I have to fake having 3 kids, a nice husband and a dog called Joe? What if they see straight through my lies and give me a mullet.

This is why I now cut my own hair.


hairdressing chief: he chats too much, but dammit he gets results


Never considered this option, might start doing this

That is my actual nightmare

I just shave my head at home. Anything is better than talking to someone like that who is on a totally different wavelength to me. We have absolutely nothing in common. I don’t want to hear what he has to say. He will not want to hear what’s on my mind.

It’s the kind of situation where I’d panic and say something like, ‘I can be’, but too quietly so they’d make me say it again, and then they’d probably be wondering why I wasn’t talkative with them (or at least I would be wondering if they were thinking that) and so I’d just start spewing words all over the place. This is why I don’t have haircuts.


I prefer to just relax. I do make an effort sometimes as its a teaching academy, however I was hungover. Getting your hair done whilst hungover - pretty grim.


Obviously the correct response should have been absolute silence.


having a hangover puts a whole new spin on it. I don’t think I’d be getting my haircut with a hangover.

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MATTER OF FRANK sits in the chair at the hairdressers

HAIRDRESSER: So how much do you want off in this haircut?

MATTER OF FRANK: Hair cut? I wanted my hair dressed, DICK 'EAD

MATTER OF FRANK gets up and leaves

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You should have simply said, “I am.”

should’ve simply wear a hat