Before his time, that lad

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The human battery concept is stupid too, like I thought if I mentally squint it could be a simplification of harnessing our brain power or something, but no they do quite explicitly explain using our bodies as really inefficient warm little batteries, which leads back to your point, ultimately all energy comes from the sun. They can feed us human remains to a point but at some point there needs to be new energy added

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Arnold Schwarzenegger"s character in Commando was John Matrix. Any relation?

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One for you fact fans out there. I first watched The Matrix at Feltham cinema with my mate Mike.
I did not care for it.

  • This added something
  • This added nothing
  • Wonder what Mike is up to nowadays?

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A good plan! Write a song about a year in the future, give it loads of time to get famous so you can reap the benefits of the royalties when the year occurs. Busted have nailed this too. Come the year 3000 they’re gonna be stinkin’ rich

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I watched it with a pal who claimed existenz was the better film

It’s been 21 years since I saw it, but from memory…

There’s a guy with a regular job, Keanu (called Neo in the film). Does some hacking in his spare time. Has hacker friends.

He’s bored one night so goes to a club and meets up with some of them. They’re all bigging up a mate of theirs who is a really good hacker, won’t say his name. Eventually agree to give him his number.

Neo texts him and is like “I hear you’re good at hacking” and the number replies with “who dis?” and Neo tells him and the person agrees to meet.

Then Neo gets mobbed when he leaves the club, but manages to get away because Laurence Fishbourne is there and is pretty handy. He takes Neo to a shared office space he’s been hiring. His name it Morpheus.

They have a little chat, but during the chat Morpheus is all coy about this big secret he has, casually dropping it into conversation but is all like “oh no, I can’t mention that though”, blatantly trying to get Neo to ask more about it. Neo asks some clever questions and eventually Morpheus is like “I’ve got a big secret but rather than tell you, you’ve got to decide whether to eat a red or a blue jellybean”. Neo is like wtf? but too intrigued to pass it up. Morpheus says that the red bean gives you the truth, and the blue one is just tasty and nothing changes, but you get to have a jellybean. Naturally Neo eats the red one.

CGI scene where stuff gets weird, then cuts to Neo waking up in what looks like some sort of cryo machine, and he’s all naked and ripped. Gets out and is like “wtf is going on?!” when a bunch of people congratulate him for leaving the matrix. He doesn’t recognise any of them, and his junk is on screen for a good 5 minutes, with close ups and everything. He has a chat with them, and they explain that he was in the matrix which is something that killer robots made to keep humans happy while they used them like batteries. Neo is like “wo” but seems to believe it all despite how far fetched it is. Then one of them who isn’t in the conversation casually does that thing where they stab a knife in between their fingers really fast and Neo is like “wo, you are really good at that?” and the guy is like “Oh, that? You just need an upgrade” and they plug Neo into a machine and update his O/S and now he can do kung fu and stuff. Then they tell him about how there’s a guy called Smith who wants to kill them and they need to protect the people who’ve escaped the matrix, and you can use those kung fu things now in the matrix if you ever want to go back in (though I’m not sure why you would).

So now Neo goes back in the Matrix but he’s like a badass and he’s there with a female character who it seems he’ll inevitably fall in love with. She shows him he can jump really far and stuff and they jump from one building to another. Basically there’s a really long montage of Neo being in the world but now with cheat codes.

Then they bump into Smith who is in sunglasses and is clearly also using cheat codes. They get in a tussle and the female character dies. Neo swears to avenge her death. Then he leaves the matrix and tells the others what’s happened, but now the female character is dead irl too for some reason.

Then there’s a load of scenes with Neo fighting Smith, but losing and just getting away, with more training montages in between, then at the end of the film, it’s like the end of karate kid and just as Neo is about to die, he kicks Smith in the face and kills him (so he thinks) and now he’s so good at training that he can stop bullets in midair. Then it ends.

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Not sure I’ve seen it. But am sure a film about a virtual reality game or something from 1999 has aged extremely well!

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What a bloody rubbish film. Convinced this modern reappraisal is a wind up

Convinced that YOU’RE a fucking wind up

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And there’s a cool Nokia in it

And when you get the upgrade you can play snake in invincible mode where even if you hit your own tail, it just bounces off and carries on.

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Do sometimes wonder if we’d have listened to the eggheads telling us to celebrate the millennium on the correct year if not for the Prince song

It reminds me of a Halloween past time as it’s BOBBINS

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Nah, no-one cares about that shit, people just want cool numbers, like 20th April 1969

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My mate had this Nokia and you better believe I was jealous!

Wonder how Finland coped with the decline of Nokia

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Tldr

Badly.

Literally every Finnish person I’ve met has bleated on about Nokia and cried within moments of meeting them

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thought Nokia was bouncing back

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