Ways to defeat a dragon

  1. Lure it to a large body of water and tie some weights around it’s neck

  2. Keep doing the thing where you tap one of it’s shoulders and quickly hide behind the opposite one, eventually it will become so infuriated it will breathe fire on itself and perish

  3. Tame it, tickle it, fuck it

  4. Put some dragon food in a seemingly innocuous looking spot but there’s a large net above the food and then you drop the net on the dragon when the dragon goes to the dragon food

  5. Put your differences aside and work it out like grown ups

Now you go


Big crossbow fired by a cockney pirate


How big is the pirate?

Alright, TFL announcer


Regular size, but such a bad actor that he manages to dominate every scene he’s in

That figures

Are dragons particularly susceptible to riddles? I feel like you could bedazzle a dragon with a good riddle.

This is creative thinking, I like it

That’s kind of like my first one

First dinosaurs, now dragons. Is there any mythical creature our Ant doesn’t want to shag?

Wear some metal and run into the flames with a metal sword and fight it

Just fire one of these at his scaly ass.

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That’s how you defeat a robot, not a dragon

No, what we’re gonna do is disagree to agree, with me.

“All Swole that End Swole”

Might be a good tagline for a new gym for Gen-Xers

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How cool would it be if the station announcer actually said this?

" If you see something that doesn’t feel right, we want to hear from you. Let us decide if what you have seen or what you know is important.

You should tell a member of rail staff or a police officer what you have seen.

Tame it, tickle it, fuck it"

David’s father has three sons : Snap, Crackle and _____ ?


“AAAAAARGH!” - :dragon:

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  1. Ask it if it’s proud of itself and its life choices. If it was a child dragon again, would it be proud of the adult it had become?
  2. Challenge it to a game of Mario Kart (claws too big for the controllers, it’ll be rubbish but its pride will make it think it’s better than it is).
  3. Say “Stupiddragonsayswhat” really fast and then when the dragon says “what?” say “ha, you’re a stupid dragon”.
  4. Ask why it’s not as cool as the dragon from the Welsh flag. Keep looking it and then a Welsh flag you’re carrying with you and look disappointed whenever looking at the dragon.
  5. GIve it an annual performance review and focus only on the negatives, citing massive areas of improvement which are required.

Ask Matthew McConaughey to grow a mohawk and get at it with axe.

Excellent suggestions presented in a digestible format. Great posting.

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