weird expressions only your parents seem to use

Calls John Lewis “Lewis’s”, which has resulted in many people giving me a confused stare when I use it

I knew I’d read this somewhere:

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I live more or less halfway between the two

The scene of one of my father’s many late night driving accidents during his courting days, no doubt.


Gonna start using this one as well



How are there so many secret neighbours? I’m from Burton. Ashbourne too expensive but nice to drive through.

Anyway my mum used to say “you daft apeth” and “you mucky pup”. My grandpa used to say – upon completion of any meal – “if that’s my dinner I’ve had it”. He was from Stranraer.

big fan of this one too :smiley:


One of the local food-related sayings (when you’re very hungry) is: “I could eat a scabby oss* and 'is jockey”

(oss = horse)


Can’t think of anything odd from my mother but her mother, a solid churchgoing woman who never swore or blasphemed, would tell you to “keep your pants on” any time you were impatient.
I have no idea why.

Old man used to just sing things from 70s adverts a lot
watch it now, here it comes, it’s the hotpoint high speed kettle (to anyone/thing in a rush)
nuts! whole hazlenuts! cadburys get them and cover them with chocolate (usually to anything he deemed irrational)
Ma regularly texts me to get home safe because “fairies die at dawn”
fucking weirdos


heard this one around here too occasionally

Whenever someone makes a noise of some sorts during a conversation, my dad will, without fail say “how’s it go?” to try and get the person to make the noise again and feel self-conscious about it.

He doesn’t talk much and sometimes you will wonder if he’s even listening to the conversation at all, but without fail, he will do this every time, and every time he will chuckle to himself afterwards.


your dad sounds cool

He is :slight_smile:

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Oh yeah that was a regular growing up

Saying the last bit of our phone number when I ring.

It’s standard here in Aus. Found it quite amusing when I first arrived. Although nothing beats the fact that they seriously call a traffic cone a ‘witch’s hat’ as an official name. Keep hoping to overhear a copper saying, “Put some witch’s hats out on the road, Bruce.”


Got loads of these.

Leftover pudding is ‘pooters’.

An untidy cloakroom type place is a ‘bungey hole’.

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"well that was a complete Fred carno’s’