this absolute corker from the not too distant past. double header again.

it’s a long un, but worth sticking with, I think

you’re at the cinema with a friend, and he decides for some inexplicable reason to get some overpriced ice cream.

he mentions this to the kid behind the counter. ‘one scoop or two?’ ‘two please’ so the kiddo passes him the bigger of the two pots. he has a look at the size of the pot and checks out the prices again. it’s gonna be around 5 quid for two measly scoops of ice cream. he tells the kid he’ll just have one scoop. the kid says ‘ok, hand me back the two-scooper and I’ll give you the appropriate pot’. my friend looks over to me for support, but I’m already in a mad spin about the absurdity of the request, so can offer nothing except a shrug and a giggle.

my friend says ‘nah, I’ll just have one scoop in this’ but the kid is going nowhere. there is a two or so minute stand off where my friend is trying to point out that it doesn’t matter what pot it comes in, he’ll pay for the correct amount of scoops administered.

the kid was almost in tears and decided to call his manager. guess what? yep, same thing…you can’t have one scoop in a two scoop tub! my friend is quite angry at this point, screws the pot up, chucks it in the general direction of the manager, walks over to the sweet bit, grabs a good handful of pink shrimps, stuffs them in his mouth, does an exaggerated eating face, walks back, flips the double v’s, then ushers me into the screen to watch the movie.

so - weird that they wouldn’t just let him have a one scoop in a two scooper?

  • weird
  • not weird

0 voters

weird that my friend did that thing with the pink shrimps and the double thumbs up?

  • weird
  • not weird
  • pretty fucking awesome, actually

0 voters

i actually know why they wouldn’t let your pal have 1 scoops in the larger pot, but it’s painfully dull and I can’t face having to type it all out.
In quick summary it’s to do with stock taking, so if your man had walked off with a large pot but only had 1 scoop of ice cream, then it doesn’t add up when they do the accounts or stock take.

4 Likes

just tot it on the wastage book, maaan.

Similar to this, was in my local brewery the other day, they do takeaway beers which they put into plastic milk-bottle style bottles. They come in 2 pints and 4 pints. Guy comes in and asks if he can buy 3 pints! The staff looked at him like he was taking the piss and explained the bottle sizes. He was adamant he wanted 3. He even pointed out that if they were concerned about filling the 4-pinter with 3 pints accurately, they could fill a pint glass then pour it in. They said they didn’t have a way to put 3 takeaway pints on the till…

Weird dude, no poll required.

Exactly - but i’m guessing yer man behind the counter didn’t have access/permission to write stuff off. Experience has taught me that the wastage register/book is highly susceptible to abuse, especially in the cinema - free food and drink pretty much on tap :innocent:

*room temperature plate

where are you all keeping your plates, the fucking fridge?

6 Likes

hating…not disliking…but actually HATING the queen

  • weird
  • not weird

0 voters

cleaning your teeth while(st) taking a bath.

so yeah, you’re in the bath, brushing your teeth and it comes to spit out time. you spit into your cupped hand, close it carefully, but not fully, pop the plug out, place your hand over the plug, open the hand and all the spittle runs down the drain. pop the plug back into and continue with the bath.

  • weird
  • not weird

0 voters

You sure this wasn’t just Die Hard 3?

1 Like

@bird you’re the fucking weirdest dude ever, you and your mates.

Not in an outlandish crazy way but just straight up fucking strange. The toothpaste in the bath is so weird.

Not that I’m judging, I’m really enjoying these polls and the thought of how weird some of your mates are.

7 Likes

talking about your ‘weird dreams’ all the time, even though it’s been 5 years, and I’ve said repeatedly that I don’t care about your dreams/ dreams are going to be weird

  • weird
  • not weird

0 voters

Saying ‘bye. bye bye bye bye bye’ on the phone at the end

  • weird
  • not weird

0 voters

1 Like
  • Why do i continue to read this thread??
  • piss off cowcow

0 voters

writing a question when you don’t really have anything to ask you just want to see how the poll function works:[poll public=true]

  • Weird
  • Not Weird
    [/poll]

pretending to be a robot when no one else is watching

  • Weird
  • Not Weird
  • EH EH I AM A ROBOT! ACTIVATE! ACTIVATE! EH EH!

0 voters

as if they’re measuring the amount of ice cream left, let alone measuring it by scoops. They’re probably just like “yeah theres a little bit of chunky monkey left”

1 Like

are take away pints the same price as normal pints?

who is weird here? the guy wanting 3 pints or the staff? i’m saying the staff.

Similarly I wanted some soup from this place in old street and i asked for the small soup and they said there was only enough for the large so i said i didn’t want a large, i just want a small and they said that they couldn’t give me the small because then there wouldn’t be enough for another small so they’d have to throw away so i said ok i’ll take a large but i’m paying for a small because i don’t want all that soup but i’ll try and they said no i couldn’t have the soup
this shit makes me utterly FURIOUS

saying at least 5 or 6 versions of ‘thank you’ ‘cheers’ ‘ta’ ‘thanks’ in small transactions with retail staff

  • weird
  • not weird

0 voters

my mum and i exchange about 50 byes before we hang up.

4 Likes
  • hi there
  • just these ones, thanks
  • do you want a bag?
  • yes please, thanks
  • that’s £6.50
  • here ya go, thanks
  • cheers
  • ta
    (leaves)

  • (distant) …thanks!
11 Likes