🦐 🚽 Weird stuff you get advertised that isn't from Wish 🌝 🥨

All my needs fulfilled

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they could have made the main shoe bit look like a face too

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well shut me up

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They had almost every combo of shoes with facial features on, all for a low low £5-700 pounds a pair

that might well be good value for face shoes, for all I know

I’ll take a pair of rugged hiking face boots

image

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Instagram always, every single day, advertises me a quite drastic looking hair transplant procedure clinic in Istanbul. I have little interest in this treatment but it does sort of tickle me.

I get the same one! And other dodgy turkish baldness clinics.

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You just need to get someone to walk behind you with a bright torch to get the reflectors going.

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Facebook is trying to sell me these bafflingly terrible looking ‘hybrid shorts’

Who cares this much about shorts? The only place I’ve ever been in where you can imagine wearing shorts at lot is Queensland and I can tell you no matter what your shorts are made of they’ll dry very quickly and you won’t really care.

Look fine to me. SPECIALLY ENGINEERED BUTTON is a thoughtful touch that reflects the wider design process, imho.

The original story from reddit

My family poops big. Maybe it’s genetic, maybe it’s our diet, but everyone births giant logs of crap. If anyone has laid a mega-poop, you know that sometimes it won’t flush. It lays across the hole in the bottom of the bowl and the vortex of draining water merely gives it a spin as it mocks you.

Growing up, this was a common enough occurrence that our family had a poop knife. It was an old rusty kitchen knife that hung on a nail in the laundry room, only to be used for that purpose. It was normal to walk through the hallway and have someone call out “hey, can you get me the poop knife”?

I thought it was standard kit. You have your plunger, your toilet brush, and your poop knife.

Fast forward to 22. It’s been a day or two between poops and I’m over at my friend’s house. My friend was the local dealer and always had ‘guests’ over, because you can’t buy weed without sitting on your ass and sampling it for an hour. I excuse myself and lay a gigantic turd. I look down and see that it’s a sideways one, so I crack the door and call out for my friend. He arrives and I ask him for his poop knife.

“My what?”

Your poop knife, I say. I need to use it. Please.

“Wtf is a poop knife?”

Obviously he has one, but maybe he calls it by a more delicate name. A fecal cleaver? A Dung divider? A guano glaive? I explain what it is I want and why I want it.

He starts giggling. Then laughing. Then lots of people start laughing. It turns out, the music stopped and everyone heard my pleas through the door. It also turns out that none of them had poop knives, it was just my fucked up family with their fucked up bowels. FML.

I told this to my wife last night, who was amused and horrified at the same time. It turns out that she did not know what a poop knife was and had been using the old rusty knife hanging in the utility closet as a basic utility knife. Thankfully she didn’t cook with it, but used it to open Amazon boxes.

She will be getting her own utility knife now.

[Edit: Common question - Why was this not in the bathroom instead of the laundry room? Answer. We only had one poop knife, and the laundry room was central to all three bathrooms. I have no idea why we didn’t have three poop knives. All I know is that we didn’t. We had the one. Possibly because my father was notoriously cheap about the weirdest things. So yes, we shared our poop knife.]

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Ah yes, I remember this one.

Screenshot 2020-11-21 at 13.50.37

The rest of the site is cheap christmas decorations with bad google translate descriptions, so I think they’ve stolen someone’s art project photos.

(yep, was stolen from an artist who was very easy to find, who I messaged to let him know)

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