Weirdly specific insults

Yeah, there were six houses at my school and we all had separate lunch rooms!

oh having a stock of insults to hand out as appropriate in timely fashion is A-game. I’m just against pre-mediated insults shoe horned in to try and belittle someone.

1 Like

this has just reminded me of the time on holiday in canada a driver slowed down so he could shout out the window to my dad “umbro trainers? real nice, man!”

13 Likes

Oh same! Sorry, should’ve specified that this is meant to be a lighthearted thread- completely agree with you

1 Like

I don’t understand why closing drawers and doors with your hip would be an insult.

It makes you look cool, no?

Another trainer one.
Was going through one of my running phases, and I ran past two guys and one went “ooooooh, salmon coloured trainers!” And the other went “salmon!” and the first said “a bold choice, salmon.” and it just FLOORED me :smiley:

9 Likes

Think I posted this before in a “bad compliments” thread but a friend’s gf once told me I’m “generically handsome” and when I asked her what she meant she said I could be in a boyband but I wouldn’t be anyone’s favourite member

:expressionless:
( :cry:)

9 Likes

A gang of lads in a Vauxhall Corsa once slowed down to shout “Nice Gola trainers” at me (they were Pumas).

Gave them a thumbs up and shouted back “Aaaw, thanks!” They looked really confused.

3 Likes

Was once stopped in a long line at a traffic light in a less desirable part of town. This girl, must have been about 12, knocked on my car window and slowly drew her finger down both of her cheeks while keeping her eyes locked on mine, then went “SHAVE…YOUR…FAAAAACE” in the most chilling tone I’ve ever heard.

14 Likes

Beckham is literally the face of Haig whiskey by the way, I wish I was funny enough to just say it based on nothing

Sorry if this has ruined your day and now Christmas 2020 by proxy, I couldn’t go on living a lie

1 Like

not entirely convinced you can call someone a homo and then tell them they’re homophobic for being offended

The Vauxhall Corsa had a window sealed up with a bin bag and the “lads” all looked in their thirties. No position to be insulting random strangers

Used to get ‘Oi Jesus’ shouted at me a lot by blokes in white vans.

Once the traffic was stopped so I just said ‘Yes, can I help you?’.

Fucking hell :smiley:

At school Skillo told one of my pals that he looked like Noo-Noo (the hoover from the Teletubbies), the pal in question is probably the least rattleable person I’ve ever known but, inexplicably, this properly wound him up. “How can I look like Noo-Noo, it’s a fucking hoover” etc etc

Needless to say, some 20 years on, we still occasionally tell him that he looks like Noo-Noo

11 Likes

what happened to “what are THOSE?!”

simpler times

1 Like

:smiley: I appreciate the honesty, thank you

Remember in highschool my mates at break laughing saying their class watched a video in History about something and there was a bit of footage of a cow on a farm or something and the cow reminded them of me

1 Like

https://thumbs.gfycat.com/ActualNextEasteuropeanshepherd-size_restricted.gif

4 Likes

Exactly!! That I could take! That I don’t mind! But the smirking sarcasm made me want to end it all. ALRIGHT IM NOT COOL ANYMORE FUCK OFF ITLL HAPPEN TO YOU EVENTUALLY TOO