My passport is in St John, Newfoundland and I’m in Montreal.
I’ll be arranging a courier service to bring it the fifteen hundred miles or so to me so I can return to Brexit Island. Hopefully it’ll be delivered by a big hairy dog.
I’ll have to text my mate and ask where my van is to answer this with certainty. Assuming it’s south of my flat though, the answer is my kitchen window sill which a sofa the northernmost bit of my flat is furthest at approx 350 miles away
Left about four boxes of my stuff in a communal ex-bin shed when I moved because I ran out of space to transport it in. I’ll almost certainly never go back for it. So 400 miles.
I bought a book called the Sisters Brothers (soon to be a Jacques Audiard film, adaptation fans) when I was in Heathrow about to get a plane to see my friend Simon. Finished it on the plane, when I got there Simon asked it was any good. It was OK, so I lent it to him. He has yet to return it.
Simon lives in Fremantle, Western Australia, which Google informs me is 9,097 miles away.