I sometimes say “you’re welcome!” to self-service checkouts if that helps?
only if they’ve been good and haven’t fucked me over in the bagging detection department
When booking a taxi or something and someone asks your surname, do you say ‘eh/erm, [SURNAME]’?
I was in M&S and I swerved to avoid a bloke coming towards me. It was my reflection in a mirror.
Redressing the balance by sassing the machines, probably keeping their confidence in check so they don’t rise up, good work
Right so I’m the ONLY one that does this? I thought I could post it and find out it’s one of them things everybody does and I don’t need to be ashamed. Not leaving the house any more, I don’t fit in
I say meow to many cats
I saw meow to you too, good sir!
I like cats
Happy to hear it
can’t eat a burrito without fucking up the last bite and making a mess
- i am human
- i am eric
- never had a burrito
I am the hard opposite. Cat in someone’s house? W/e you do you pal. Cat in the street? Oh my god I would die for you sweet angel.
Watching a really scary film
- I can do this
- I can’t do this
I used to get the reflex a lot but don’t think I ever got as far as the words coming out of my mouth
- I’m incapable of breathing, incapable of love
- I can get through an entire day without referencing mildly obscure song lyrics
- I can tell the difference between butter and I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter
- No you can’t, Mr Simpson, no one can
- Sure I can zip a jacket up while walking along.
- Bollocks, can’t get the zip in. Getting wet now. Fuck! Not in properly. Getting cold. Best stop walking and do it. Busy on this pavement though. Pretty wet now. Oh, there we go. FFS, your headphones are tangled round your coat. Get some fucking wireless ones, you prick. Unzip the coat. Start again. Just stand to one side. Move over, stop walking and zip your coat up. There, done. Remember that for next time…
- I am capable of sounding like a normal person on the phone
- Please do not make me phone anyone
If I’m on me own in the house, I can but I’ll definitely switch the light on before the end and I definitely won’t sleep
If there’s other people in the house, I might switch the light on