What constitutes good table manners in 2017

Remain seated if someone proposes a toast in your honour.



“dutch toast”

had no idea you and hatfood at gone into business together.

vol van smaak.


My granny was obsessed with good table manners so I really can’t be bothered with the whole thing.


Farting at the dinner table is rough as fuck.

I would be desperately unamused by this.


Don’t you worry saps, I am.

I even took his dinner off him once because of it. Next time, it’s going in the bin.


So it’s contagious??


Before leaving the table, saying a polite ‘thank you’ to the person that prepared the food and tidying up / taking dishes to the kitchen. It’s a nice-to-have I think.


Are any conversation topics off limits at the table?

I think we’ve already established that bodies and bodily functions are taboo.

Puts me right off my sausages

It’s like SATC never happened.

I find these things unacceptable at the dinner table.

  • Elbows on the table
  • Eating with utensils in the “wrong” hands
  • Eating with a single utensil (excluding a spoon for soup etc)
  • Farting at the dinner table
  • Belching at the dinner table
  • Talking with food in your mouth
  • Licking cutlery
  • Licking plates (assumes no guests at the table and not in public place)
  • Phone on the table
  • Looking at phone
  • Leaving the table before others have finished
  • Restaurant only - Starting dinner before others without their meals give the go ahead
  • Private dwelling - eating before the server (your host) has sat down to eat.
  • Cold-blooded murder

0 voters

my husband doesn’t like it if I discuss snot, vomit or that sort of thing. Working with 5 year olds that kind of IS talking about my day though.

I have banned dabbing at the table as well


I’d like you not to mention snot and vomit too, please.


At Mrs CCB’s parents’ house, the rule is that you have to wait for the person serving dessert to pick up their spoon before you can start eating dessert. All fine and everything, except that Mrs CCB’s mum tends to get caught up in conversation or some task and forgets to pick up her spoon. Until Mrs CCB or one of her sisters tells her to hurry up.

Dabbing the corners of the mouth with a crisp white napkin is surely not a banned act?


It’s rude to complain about food that’s been made for you.

Some hosts appreciate honest feedback though. Tightrope.

My mother in law is a disgusting and loud eater. She chews with her mouth open, talks with her mouth full, laughs with a big open mouth full of food and bits spit out over her plate, which is normally already in a fucking state cos she has mashed all her food together into a single mulch. I hate eating with her, but also feel bad because she was treated really horribly as a child by her mother who bullied her really badly over not being lady like even as a tiny child, so the appalling table manners is really a reaction against that.

(Before anyone starts laughing at the out-of-touch old man: I do know what ‘dabbing’ is :rolling_eyes:)


I’ve banned politics talk when eating with my parents. It always turns sour (the Tory dicks), so it just seems silly to even bring it up. Dad still does it of course (the Tory dick).

I also find it weird eating when there’s some sort of food thing on tv. Dunno why.

But if you can’t handler her at her worst…

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