What did or didn't actually happen in the Nativity

Wikipedia doesn’t have an origin story for swimming so I’m gonna say Jesus.

I think the angel bit probably did happen

Just looked it up and there’s some mentions of swimming in the old testament sorry
Let’s say Isiah invented it, but Jesus popularised it for a new generation like vinyl records

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wig fell off.

didn’t happen - Theo turning up with a stapler

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I don’t think Joseph’s head fell off after being twatted with a football and then hastily glued back on before my Ma got home in the irl nativity.

Joseph has a bit of a hard time of it really doesn’t he

‘Immaculate conception’, man’s gullible as fuck!

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Lovely jacket

then he ate baby jesus’s snickers bars.

We can be reasonably sure that Herod’s massacre of the innocents never happened.

Herod was almost universally hated in his day. Had he really murdered that many first borns, we’d have reams of accounts all delighted to finally have something REALLY bad to say about him. But no such evidence exists. I think it’s only in one of the gospels.

Shepherds on the hillsides did a bit too much blow (probably because it was their Christmas party) and tripped off their tits before deciding it would be a good idea to take a walk into Bethlehem with one of their lambs

Sounds like black friday to me, aye

Bethlehem was a small village - the killing of a couple of dozen children could easily have gone unremarked.

chilling

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The immaculate conception doesn’t refer to the conception of Jesus. I think it was DanielKelly who taught us that, back on the old boards.

You’re right! I’d like to change my answer to ‘virgin birth’, man’s gullible as fuck!

Immaculate conception refers to the birth of Mary without original sin, not the birth of Jesus.

You sayin’ there was tomfoolery afoot, chief?