What do you always forget?

I’ve just been sitting here like "why am I still in pain? Those painkillers should have kicked in by now!!"
then I look down to see the painkillers just sitting on my desk.

Sometimes I’ll take painkillers and be like “did i take them or did I just think I took them?” but I don’t take a second lot just in case

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I also always forget that Stacey Solomon went out with Steveo.


This is the main one for me.


I’ve forgotten…


I always forget that my profession is filled with Tory cunts who are probably also shy Brexiters. Catches me out a lot.

Anything I’ve left cooking, any time.

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That life is pointless, meat shovelled into the grave etc

The life and career of Andre Romelle Young



Can never remember turning the iron off in the morning so HAVE to go back and check.

The stupidest thing about this is that it turns itself off after a while anyway so it really doesn’t matter.

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the names of people we’ve met through being parents and their kids

To not bring in my lunch when I’m supposed to be going out for lunch.

Double lunch, everyone’s a winner.

My penoid group has about 14 Jons and 73* Ollies and I can’t fucking remember who’s who.


was my wife’s birthday last week. was telling my boss about weekend plans and was saying “yeah its [insert wife’s androgenous name]'s birthday” and he was like “oh that must be his first birthday how cool” and I was like that’s my wife dude and he was double mortified cos he’d forgotten both their names AND had said my wife sounds like a dude. I was like chill dude it’s fine.


People’s names. I try, I really do, but I’m really bad at remembering them.

Also, how to spell ‘manoeuvre’.

nailed it man, very proud of you

It was a copy and paste job

It always goes cold
Or I drink it and go to enjoy my hot cup of tea only to realise I already drank that.

that there are other people around me at work when I’ve got my earphones in and music on and decide to call myself a ‘fucking bell-end’ more audibly than I intend to.