What do you ask for when you get your haircut?

“Here just cut around this bowl mate and we’ll be sound”

A number three, and a bit of a tidy up of what’s left on top

Or maybe a number two in the summer

Number 1, sides and back
Number 3 on top.

five fade and sweep, m4.

That’s my go-to hair cut also. Depending on the hairdresser can mean anything from hardly anything off to a full on crew cut though…

0.5 sides, trim on top. take the weight out.

absolutely not this…

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I ask where they’re going on holiday, topsy-turvy that motherfucker.


before you know it, you’ll asking them if they want any product.


Two/three on sides, longer on top but so you can sweep it over to the sides a bit, cheers, yeah.

Have noticed on a couple of recent haircuts that my fringe has been cut very, very straight and I’ve observed a few other far cooler people than me having similar. Clearly The Jarman is back in trend.

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’ A bit shorter and tidier, clean around the ears’

my barber knows. I want to be able to say less than ten words and then close my eyes.

Hello man! I hate it when they do this, an old barber used to put it in without me asking but it was this weird powder and it felt like you’d walked through loads of cobwebs.

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My barber always looks mildly offended when I don’t want any product in my hair, I assume because it’s free? (cobwebs is a good description)

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ask for a shag

Hello! missed you on here.

walking though cobwebs. got to get me some of that action. might be time for me to stop turning down the offer of product, imo.

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Typical cost you pay for your haircut?

£7 for me, plus £3 tip

It was £13, and I’d leave a £2 tip, think it’s going up to £15 though, and I’m probably not going to leave a fiver tip. Tricky.

Hand them a picture of Mark Lawrenson

then just ask for a trim

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Usually say “I like it when I can tuck it behind this ear and theres about an inch or two below my lobe when my hair is curled”

Haircut is £45, tip a fiver
Getting it dyed is like £160, tip a tenner