What do you do at work that irks others

swear loudly, a lot

Too handsome

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Moaning
Tapping
Drumming
Being annoying
Shaking my leg
Clearing my throat
Being a dick

Switching off Absolute Radio and putting on my all-Merzbow motivational work tunes mixtape

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Cooking a full roast dinner using the work microwave

Jerry?

Staring clients dead in the eye while I dry hump the letter franking machine

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So much this

All the finance goblins probably think I’m a moody fuck, but I’m not going to initiate small talk with an ever-rotating cast of spreadsheet warriors while I’m making a cup of tea.

Nothing says #mondaymotivation like Dolphin Sonar

You sound like a delight!

  • Flirt with all the babes
  • Arrive late and leave whenever
  • If someone asks me to do something I respond enthusiastically, nod rapidly, say “yeah, yeah, yeah…” then never lift a finger.
  • Take 20 minute shits
  • Eat pungent fish lunches
  • Sniff constantly
  • Discuss my hobbies boorishly and at length
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I’m pretty sure it has held me back over the years. I just won’t play the ass kissing office politics game. As a result I will probably remain in the same job for ever !

Oh yeah, I love an under promise.

Are you going to able to do that by the end of the month.
No idea, I would have to look into it, I’m not even sure if it is possible.
Ok then, if you could have a look.

Send it completed to them 90 seconds later.

Unfortunately, these fuckers are wising up to it. Might have to move on.

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complain lots
headphones on so loud most people can hear
oh also I get so much shit because I ‘type too loud’. give over

– Marilyn Monroe

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My voice is very loud and I talk quite a lot. Pretty sure that will wind most up.

I irk my line report a lot but I’m the boss so he can do one.

^This. Got allergic rhinitis - whatcha gonna do?

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Eat celery at my desk.

CRUNCH!

Probably wise to never ever work with meow

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