swear loudly, a lot
Too handsome
Moaning
Tapping
Drumming
Being annoying
Shaking my leg
Clearing my throat
Being a dick
Switching off Absolute Radio and putting on my all-Merzbow motivational work tunes mixtape
Cooking a full roast dinner using the work microwave
Jerry?
Staring clients dead in the eye while I dry hump the letter franking machine
So much this
All the finance goblins probably think I’m a moody fuck, but I’m not going to initiate small talk with an ever-rotating cast of spreadsheet warriors while I’m making a cup of tea.
Nothing says #mondaymotivation like Dolphin Sonar
You sound like a delight!
- Flirt with all the babes
- Arrive late and leave whenever
- If someone asks me to do something I respond enthusiastically, nod rapidly, say “yeah, yeah, yeah…” then never lift a finger.
- Take 20 minute shits
- Eat pungent fish lunches
- Sniff constantly
- Discuss my hobbies boorishly and at length
I’m pretty sure it has held me back over the years. I just won’t play the ass kissing office politics game. As a result I will probably remain in the same job for ever !
Oh yeah, I love an under promise.
Are you going to able to do that by the end of the month.
No idea, I would have to look into it, I’m not even sure if it is possible.
Ok then, if you could have a look.
Send it completed to them 90 seconds later.
Unfortunately, these fuckers are wising up to it. Might have to move on.
complain lots
headphones on so loud most people can hear
oh also I get so much shit because I ‘type too loud’. give over
– Marilyn Monroe
My voice is very loud and I talk quite a lot. Pretty sure that will wind most up.
I irk my line report a lot but I’m the boss so he can do one.
^This. Got allergic rhinitis - whatcha gonna do?
Eat celery at my desk.
CRUNCH!
Probably wise to never ever work with meow