What Films Have You Been Watching? September 2021

I saw Censor last night

I watched A Long Way Down last night, the Nick Hornby adaptation where four strangers meet on a roof planning to kill themselves but instead form an unlikely bond.

Itā€™s one of the most ridiculous, bizarre, terrible and baffling films I have ever seen. Utterly awful, I properly loved it. Iā€™m tempted to do a full plot synopsis at some point as it is that odd. I donā€™t think I have ever seen a film full of plot holes or plot points which seem massive and are then instantly not spoken of again

If anyone has a spare 90 mins today, its on Netflix and I canā€™t recommend enough

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Leave pierce brosnan alone

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I am shaken, but not stirred by that

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MAYBE HE SHOULDNT BE POSTING HEEERREE

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Bit harsh :frowning:

I meant Pierce Brosnan because he might be hurt and because his Radiohead rankings are very controversial

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Candyman '92
I do love this film but have probably seen it 20 times and it does get a little bit worse every time. Great performances but some pretty cringe bits of script. Dat score tho.

Candyman '21
Wanted to like this more than I did and there were some really good sequences but just felt like it was trying to do way too much in its short 90 mins. Constantly tripping over the mythology while attempting to do something new with it just meant they were a lot of whiplash changes in tone which didnt really work for me. So many recaps and explainers for such a short film as well. Not bad though, worth a punt.

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Promising Young Woman.
What a filmā€¦canā€™t believe it took me this long to see it.

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I just started watching the Lynch Dune. My word. This is going to be dreadful.

I loved the book, it really stayed on my mind months after rereading it last year.I have a feeling Iā€™ll give up halfway through this.

coincidentally, so does the film

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Yeah it was definitely a dialogue movie that you had to concentrate on. Think youā€™ve nailed it about Act One being Allison spin on their experiences on what happened in Act Two into their movie - the conversation echoes and beats on the act ring very similar although Act Two is much more chaotic! Which Act did you prefer?

Good movie though imo! Wonder if Lawrence Michael Levineā€™s other output is worth checking out?

Yeah. I thought it was brilliant too.

Kind of got mixed reviews on the film boards here though.

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Yeah. Iā€™m guessing the new version might be a little bit better.

i saw the trailer for it the other night and even though itā€™s villenuve and obviously looks much higher quality, there was also some marvel looking bullshit and thereā€™s something about the whole enterprise which just seems a bit young adult. obviously itā€™s not gonna be some hard sci-fi chatting about spice production but i hope they manage to get the essence of it right and donā€™t spend too much time on total bollocks.

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Okay here we go. on my phone so ignore any spelling errors. This contains spoilers but it doesnt matter.

The start of the film introduces us to Pierce Brosnan Aaron Paul, Toni Collette and Imogen Poots all intending to commit suicide on the roof of a tall building on NYE.Annoyed at people crashing Pierce walks back to his car home.

Despite being the only one who drives amd being first to leave, he somehow finds every other character at separate destinations slong the way home. He picks them all up and goes to drive them home. Imogen Poots wants to be dropped off at a club to confront her ex

Itā€™ here we find out why everyone wants to kill themselves. Brosnan was a talk show host but went to prison for having sex with an underage girl. He never shows any remorse and in fact laments the fact he is no longer famous. His notoriety is treated with the same level as ā€˜oooh what are you likeā€™. Toni Collette is the mother of a disabled boy who requires 24 hour care, to the level of she has to wipe his mouth for him - this isnt me being crass but it is shown multiple times to put across the level of help he needs. Her reason is she feels helpless. Astonishingly, the disabled character is played by a fully abled actor. Imogen Poots says she is a spurned lover but it seems she is struggling with being the daughter of a politician and the disappearance of her sister. The latter is positioned as a major plot point but never mentoined again after half the film. Aaron Paul has brain cancer or so he says

After going to her exs nightout, the rest of the characters feel bad for leaving her despite her being terrible to them.and only knowing her fot an hour. This is one of the most plausible points. They go to the club and find she has overdosed on pills.

Sitting with her in a hospital, Poots meets them and twirls in her hospital gown to show her bum. They make a pact to not commit suicide till Valentines Day.

Despite London being huge, Poots manages to find Paul and follows him. Dunno why. It then makes the papers that shamed ex star Brosnan and daughter of politican Poots tried to kill themselves. They all reconvene at Colletteā€™s house. How they all kept in touch is never revealed. There, they decide to play the press at their own game as they are being followed by the press. It is never mentioned why the other two characters who arent in the public eye are suddenly being hounded. They suspect Pootsā€™ ex leaked the story to the press. This mystery is never solved as it is never mentioned again

They all conduct interviews with journslists in front of shocking green screen. The overall story is that they were stopped from suicide by an angel who looks like Matt Damon (!) They then go on Brosnans old TV show where Poots and Brsonan are grilled rather than this story which somehow is national news. It ends in tears when Poots missing sister is brought up. Paul reflects how they made the public believe in angels. Angels are never mentioned again.

Paul finds Poots at the site of her sisters disappearance . This is where thats never mentioned again. She confronts him as he doesnt have cancer as she has never seen him medicate. He says he doesnt but doesnt reveal why he is up there.

PART 2 TO FOLLOW

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Inexplicably, they all go on holiday to Tenerife. Not a lot happens other than Brosnan moaning he isnt famous. Aaron Paul sleeps with Talulah Riley who is a journalist and has secretly been recording their conversations. Brosnan declares them dancing as the best night ever.I have no idea why this is an ongoing national interest. They get back to their hotel room where Poots has been hiding in the bathroom and tells him Paul throws the recorder in the sea. Paul reveals at breakfast he lied. They all fight and get black eues

Back home, they go their separate ways. Collette catches the eye of a doctor who says he saw them on holiday in the paper. At no point was a photographer there. Her son falls ill. Somehow despite cutting all contact everyone reconvenes at the hospital aside from Paul. They onlynrealise its Valentines Day when they see someone carrying balloons, despite it being afternoon. They find Paul on the roof where he reveals his motivations was he doesnt have any but feels unfixable (i cried at this point). They become friends again the end

Utterly baffling. I am now obsessed

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Recently watched:

Shelter - Julianne Moore comes across Jonathan Rhys-Meyers who has multiple personalities. Plays out like a TV film from the 90s. A whole load of stuff is chucked into the film and takes a few other directions but nowhere good. 3.5/10.

Black Cadillac - Pretty good low budget horror/thriller film to watch as a late night no brainer. Three late teens; one a confident cool bloke, another his scared young brother and the third is a wise guy are stalked in their car on a snowy night by an unknown person driving a black Cadillac. In the same vain as Duel or Joy Ride. Obviously not as good as those two with Duel being this genreā€™s gold standard but a lucky find on Amazon whilst I was just browsing. Liked it. 7.5/10.

Cover Girl - Musical comedy drama with Rita Hayworth, Gene Kelly and Phil Silvers. A bit flimsy but overall watchable. You know what youā€™re going to get and it doesnā€™t try to be anything else. 6/10.

Wrong Turn (new one on Netflix) - A group of 20 somethings go into the woods on a walking/camping trail. Things go south and the film takes a bit of a turn midway through too but not a wrong one necessarily.
Matthew Modine is the father looking for his daughter whoā€™s amongst that group.
Itā€™s all been done before and gets increasingly stupid but itā€™s a fun watch. 6.5/10.

The Outside Story - Sweet comedy drama with affable bloke Brian Tyree Henry whoā€™s locked out of his flat. He then gets to know his neighbours who heā€™s mostly avoided until now. Sonequa Martin-Green is his ex-girlfriend who he still has feelings for and Sunita Mani is the traffic police officer he befriends too. Gentle feel to this and a nice warm hug of a film about relationships, friendships and passing acquaintances. 7.5/10.

Never Back Down - Teenager starts a new high school and finds out thereā€™s a fight club and underground fighting competition. Amber Heard, Evan Peters and Djimon Hounsou are the famous co-stars. Itā€™s utterly predicable and full of clichĆ©s but youā€™ll know that from the first five minutes. Good fighting film. 6.5/10.

Watched the Maleficent sequel (mistress of the dark or something).

I mean it was all very well made. I was working while it was on, just there in the room in case my daughter found something scary or didnā€™t understand something. The plot was very very every other plot like this but Jolieā€™s always good and Elle Fanning is great too.

Anyway, it ends with a big old pop songā€¦and itā€™s fucking Flagpole Sitta by Harvey Danger. How is this level of rip-off allowed?!

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TWO Maleficent films Jeremy!?

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