What have you done today....

To make you look productive.


Cleaned my laptop and phone screens.

Sort of paced around the office like successful old white men seem to do.

Watched the town hall public realm works through the window but with a “deep in thought” expresison as if solving a vital business problem

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Typed on dis so my teams icon stays green.


Were you carrying some papers or a folder? If not, that’s a tip for next time

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Quite a bit of actual work. Not happy about it.

blocked out my whole calendar as “June Promotion Busy”

Threw some numbers about. Sent a couple of passive aggressive emails

Oh yeah and I brought out recycling bin back in from the street

Sometimes at work I just put on a hi-vis jacket and nobody asks me to do anything as they assume I’m otherwise engaged.


Careful mate someone got sacked at our place for accidentally hitting someone with a three

Alright Boris Johnson etc etc

Hmm, good tip. I’m going downstairs for a chai but I’ll make a point of wearing my lanyard and looking rushed (whilst dawdling to the extreme when out of sight)

Yes walk fast and hold something. If anyone asks you anything just rudely say “what??” then quickly follow up with a sincere “oh sorry where are my manners, you know how it is when deadlines are looming though, sorry again, how can i help you.”

Loads of work. Annoying.

Said “just give me 5 mins and I’ll be right with you” when somebody asked me for something, when I was in fact doing fuck all.


Re-wrote a quiz, had a meeting, made my own sandwich and cleared up after myself. Triple whammy


I also picked up an online order from superdrug that came in a box so i took the box over to the printing area and broke it up qns recycled it in a way that looked like I’d been unpacking printer paper or cartridges.

Extra smugness here for using work recycling rather than clogging up my own bin at home.

I’ve been pissing about redrawing a diagram for the better part of 2 hours.

Tbf, the person who gave me feedback on the original model was essentially asking for me to somehow fit a brief overview of the entire local economy onto something initially conceived to be high level and take up half a page of A4, so they’re lucky to be being humoured at all.

And it’s my last day so massive shrug emoji.

  • Had a haircut
  • Bought travel toiletries for Prima
  • Sent some electrochemistry equipment to Grenoble for an upcoming experiment for my PhD
  • Got a key cut
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I really need to do this

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