What have you stolen?

He’s a wrong 'un, that boy

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I scanned some Fujis as Jonagolds in Morrison’s

@plasticniki made me steal a 2ltr bottle of Coke from Tezzas.

@aboynamedgoo made me steal a bus

Hearts
Drinks

Used to get it free with Windows

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And that’s why the neighbourhood watch banned you

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my step dad had a little tin he used to keep change in in his office when i was a kid. used to steal from that quite a lot.

Stole a bottle of water from Victoria bus station before I got the bus to Glasgow because it was late and all shops in the area were closed

I told you to take this one:

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Pick and mix sweets from wollies

My friend Bríd was asked to appear in some ads for a local radio station here two years ago. Last Christmas, as I passed one of the signs in the city I decided to tear it down and give it to her boyfriend. It was massive, made out of printed plastic material and it took some severe efforts to get it out of the frame it had been placed in on the front of a derelict nightclub. They both thought it was hilarious when I gave it to them and now it’s mounted in his house.

This was the image, though it definitely wasn’t as big as this!

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I’m going to write this out now as I felt really guilty about it the morning after. I went to a work party with a free bar last year, got very drunk. Decided to walk home and took the route past Smithfields Meat Market. This was about 1am, so it was quite busy. There was a massive pallet of big boxes and I took one and walked it back to Bethnal Green. Inside was 20 whole chicken legs, which fed me for months. This was not one of my finest moments, although it is the only time I have ever stolen anything in my life, officer.

I’m intrigued by the practicalities of this:

  • Did no one challenge a pisshead pushing a pallet of boxes down the street?
  • Where did you leave it when you got home?
  • How fucking big is your freezer?
  • Did you get food poisoning?

-It was only one box of chicken, about the size of a small scalextric. Was still quite difficult to carry home.
-left it in kitchen and put it in the freezer in the morning
-It took up two shelves out of three
-Surprisingly not

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Bizarre choice of metric.

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Jokes on you they charge a deposit

I was drinking from cans all day.