What is in your BAG!

I have a big black tote-bag I got from attending the Golancz festival in London a few years back and it is a TARDIS that never fails to fit whatever I try to jam in it. Right now, and typically, it has in it:

  • small, grey, crook-handled umbrella
  • brown leather wallet
  • set of keys
  • prescription sunglasses in case
  • mini battery operated hand/desk fan (always seems to amaze people)
  • high capacity 2.4 amp USB charger
  • two bottles of hand sanitizer (made by company my dad works for)
  • SPF50 face cream
  • spare face mask
  • tictac mixers coconut & pineapple flavour
  • Raycon blutooth earbuds
  • tweezers
  • tiny jar of Lush ‘lord of misrule’ solid perfume
  • Mitchum 48hour deo stick
  • hairbands
  • mechanical pencil
  • paracetamol
  • even bigger fold-out/roll-up fabric shopping bag
  • lots of old receipts and dead bus tickets

Satchel for school always has

Mark book
Board pens (black, red, blue in pen section)
Biros (Black, Red, blue, in pen slots)
Packet of tissues.

Going out bag


I’m a deeply deeply boring man

In my rucksack:

Laptop sleeve + pocket containing: Macbook, charger, adapter hub
A4 notebook
Glasses case

Right front: Keys
Left front: USB sticks & plectrums
Left rear: card holder - debit card, library card, ID card, travelcard, business cards, work locker keycard
Right rear: iPhone

gotta have a system

in my backpack currently:

face mask
train pass
work pass
hand sanitiser
portable phone charger
plug adapter thing for phone charger
packet of tissues
3 x tote bags (one gay star news with a big picture of a unicorn on it that i got from walking in the pride parade two or three years ago, one from glastonbury 2014, one with a picture of a diana camera on it)
baby’s bib with pictures of lions and giraffes and elephants and crocodiles on
pair of baby’s socks

remember going to a christening once and had a satchel with me and one of my mates laughing like why have you got a bag with you, what have you got in there? and just being like how do you manage without a bag, where do you keep all your stuff? men are so basic, thinking all they need is there wallet and keys. get a grip

great thread

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neither of these things have been used for like a year and a half but they live in my bag. what am i supposed to do, find them somewhere else to live?

i forgot that i chucked these in my bag the other day. i guess i could have brought them upstairs to put in the wash but i’ve actually just chucked them back in my bag. wonder when i’ll find them again