What is you percentage chance of eating a croissant on Christmas Day?






0 percent




20% (75% chance of Pain au chocolat, 5% of hangover being too sever for morning solids)


What a bunch of fucking Brexit scum.




Cool Runnings is on



Always have bagels for breakfast


Anyone over 0% is either a) a stinking reprobate b) a maker of very poor life choices or c) someone to whom Christmas holds little importance for religious or cultural reasons and is therefore welcome to eat whatever they choose on what is, to them, just an ordinary Sunday.


Don’t get me wrong Lonzo, I’d quite like to eat one but I can’t imagine there will be any available. It would be a stunning change of decades of tradition if my Ma decided to get some croissants in at this stage.


<it’s not empty>


May I offer some glad tidings?


3%, or thereabouts


We are apparently having brioche French toast for breakfast on Christmas, so don’t go Brexit-shaming me.


Of course!


0%. It is unchristian.


What are you having on a festive croissant?
I’d recommend a raspberry jam but maybe Christmas morning is more a time for cranberry or orange marmalade.


In German they (or something very similar) are known as Hörnchen. Almost undoubtedly a reference to Lucifer himself.


Is this one of those times you choose to dredge up your dubious heritage because there’s a chance of better food or a football victory?