What is your biggest fear?

I have this absolutely massive panic that when we die, we get to replay through every memory in our brain, our entire lives again, in our mind.

And that this is exactly what is happening right now.

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Octopus

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Fucking things up, mainly. Just terrified I’ll do something that has serious consequences - the thing is, largely things seem to work out alright despite me having made a lot of bad/risky choices in my life.

Just don’t want to let folk down or end up in an impossible situation.

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Flying

Oh and the octopus guys too. Those guys are terrifying.

Probably getting trapped somewhere, you know like potholing or something really claustrophobic.

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Bridges.

Leaving the plugs on and starting a fire, apparently.

Spiders.

Not very imaginative I know but they PLAGUE MY DAMN DREAMS

FUCK OFF SPIDERS

My heart going pop at a relatively young age, which seems to be a thing in my family.

Anaphylactic shock from a wasp sting or similar

Dementia

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Locked-in Syndrome

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Allergies mean I’ve had this happen a few times. Not great tbh. I’d be very easy to murder.

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Being caught in a burning building, unable to escape or be rescued

going viral/becoming a meme like those lads in tight trousers who ended up in sea shanty videos

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Jeez man, stay safe

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This

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Stranded in the ocean. Especially at night

When I was about 7 my parents, my brother, my sister & I drove up & visited the Brontë parsonage in Haworth. The thing that struck me most was that the dad Patrick Brontë outlived & had to bury 6 of his 7 kids plus his wife during his lifetime

This was my biggest fear for most of my life - having to bury my own children

Spoilered for a bit of a trauma dump - though some of you know this

It’s actually 12 years ago today that my wife & I lost our daughter Violet a week before she was due to a stillbirth/full-term miscarriage - a natural childbirth when you know the child has passed is a strange mixture of all kinds of emotions that I can’t really put into words. It took a long time to get over and obviously burying a child that we never really got to know is probably a lot ‘easier’ in many respects than what had haunted my fears as a child. In any case, it’s not really a fear anymore…though obviously I would not want it to happen again, or even wish it on my worst enemy to be honest. Gonna go to the cemetery now & put some flowers on Violet’s grave - once I’ve brushed the snow off it of course.

Anyway, as Nelson Mandela once famously said “May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears.”

:heart:

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