What’s the most shocking thing that’s happened to you on the street?


randomly punched in the face by someone going through a psychotic episode.

Well, after the kite death thing, we all knew Lucien had a dark side.

Shall we can this one too?

Light -

Got egged by some card driving kids as I was walking home - they missed, they went round a roundabout and egged me again


Hard boiled eggs as well


Less light - punched in the face by some prick

Feel like I’ve told this many many times but when a drunk homeless old man pointed at me laughing and said to his mate “that’s your girlfriend”.


Saw two people having sex on a garden path on the edge of the Main Street in town and you could see the penis going into the vagina.

Oh yeah maybe I should change mine to the bumming I interrupted on Monday.


I’m sorry but this has made me laugh so much.

Also it just goes to show how everyone does that joke. If someone I know has spoken or bumped into a stranger once, i’ll always be like “there’s your mate”.

A woman with huge fake breasts and a tiny top plonked herself right opposite my bf in yoga once and it was tits in his face the whole time so every time we go to yoga and she’s there, i’ll say “oh your girlfriend is here”


were you one of these people


got a lot of time for this type of humour, i used to absolutely love “history today”


Oh yeah. It still cracks me up. Probably not for the most shocking thread, maybe most memorable.

Here’s a light entertainment one:

Was crossing the road with a friend when a car full of bellends drove past and shouted WANKER, my friend turned to me and said “they must’ve been talking to you”.


On the streets of Brooklyn I got into a rap battle with a guy called Christopher Wallace, he was pretty good, notoriously so.


Some lads chucked an onion at me. Bloody massive onion.


Me and my friends were annoying teenagers. We drove past and were super shocked and didn’t know how to react. We did a lap of the town and drove past again so we could shout bawdy things to them. They didn’t seem to mind our annoying shouting.

had a beef paste sandwich thrown at me in a drive by
along with shouting “get a haircut”

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guy in a van tried to egg me and some pals while we were looking like dorks in our bike gear. he completely missed, drove round the block and tried again. and compelety missed a second time.


A car crashing into my parents garden wall, and me catching the driver as he tried to leg it. Mentioned this a few times, so I won’t go into detail.

Light hearted, there used to be a man who would always walk past my office dressed as a wizard, with a black cat on his shoulder. He also used to drink in the Green Dragon pub in Croydon, where I’d regularly see him.

I hadn’t seen him in years and presumed he had died, but I saw him a few weeks back in Sutton, which cheered me up. Seemed such a lovely chap.


(note - I didn’t take this photo).