What unsightly modifications would you accept if they made you safer or more comfortable?

On the organic side:

Gills would mean you’d be less likely to drown but you might get fewer admiring glances.

A tail would help with balance and holding on to train handrails etc. This might even get you more admiring glances I don’t know.

Feel free to go nuts with ideas for mechanical enhancements. Theo will do a feasibility study and cost them up for you.

what?!?!?

saps, you OK?

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Wings would be alright, wouldn’t they?

Reckon it’d be great exercise and think of the views you’d get.

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Hang on, I’m just having a fine mesh sewn into my lips to stop me getting flies in my mouth as I cycle in to work.

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A 3 foot dong. Completely impractical and unusable but … GUYS LOOK!?!

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Some kind of ejector seat that would launch my torso away from my legs in order to escape socially awkward situations.

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That’s more like it!

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I would accept my little toe being covered in armadillo scales, so that it doesn’t hurt when I clip it against a piece of furniture.

Also, big elephant ears to reduce my body temperature and reduce sweating, or maybe the ability to lay in mud, like pigs, to keep me cool.

I’d accept being green if it meant I could photosynthesise in an emergency.

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I think you already have the last ability.

Armadillo scales are a good shout.

I’d quite like to be able to roll up into a ball like one.

Imagine being able to spit venom in people’s eyes if you ended up in a really boring meeting.

Dinner?

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I’d accept a 15 inch penis if it meant I got 20 minutes on Newsround.

And by accept I mean as part of my anatomy. Not ‘accept’.

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Inflatable airbag tits to protect me everytime I fall off my bike.

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I believe a third buttock would make sitting more comfortable.

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Antlers. Love the idea of randomly rutting with people.

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Wings would be great so I could fly to work.

Also the ability to eat something massive in one go and then digest it over a few weeks. Would save loads of money on food.

Massive norks that I could fall on to in order to protect my face and hands if I fall face first.

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This would still hurt though, surely.

What about a giant one of these?