I have many, of course, but most of them aren’t PG so I’ll wait until later to post them.
One of mine was trying to do the cinnamon challenge with my friend. Knew it wasn’t gonna go well, but I’m stubborn to the point of ridiculousness so clamped my mouth shut like my life depended on it and furiously swallowed and then two minutes later was VIOLENTLY throwing up. Wanted the ground to swallow me up.
Also I went to M&S a few months ago and I could see everyone was staring at my arse so I was thinking “aha! It looks great! This is marvellous news, the general public are so blessed to be graced by the presence of me and my bum. I really needed this boost, thank you all.” Anyway I got home and decided to take a selfie of it and upon viewing the image I realised it was because my leggings were see through and I didn’t have pants on. Great. A few months before that, in the summer, I went to the same M&S in a dress and flip flops and fuck all else and had completely forgotten to put underwear on cause it was HOT. Anywho I had to bend over for something and exposed my bare arse to an unsuspecting older gentleman and I still feel terrible about it. It’s a real wonder I’ve not been banned from that shop.
Told a visiting colleague from another office that I was looking forward to seeing “his tool in action”. By “tool” I of course meant the new rubric he’d designed for evaluating performance. It had been a long day in my defense.
At the height of the spring lockdown I had to go to A&E because I sliced my thumb open with a penknife trying to cut the bottom off of a beard moisturiser bottle. Felt like a total moron for a good while afterwards and now have a permanent “thumb bum” scar to remind me of my foolishness…
Decided to fix the broken security light in my garden due to getting a dog.
Changed the bulb myself and it still wasn’t working so decided to call an electrician. My gf’s dad has a best mate whose a sparky so I used him.
He looked at the light and asked if I had tried turning the switch on, I told him i’ve lived here a year and there isn’t a switch. He then went into a bedroom upstairs and found a switch behind a wardrobe and turned the light on.
I apologised and offered to pay him for his time but he was very nice and refused.
My brain obviously subconsciously decided that this wasn’t embarrasing enough…
Later that night I realised that I hadn’t text my girlfriend at all whilst she was working a night shift at the out of hours doctors. I decided to send her the following photo at about 11.30 P.M to make her laugh. Somehow I accidentally send it to the last person I text which happened to be the electrician.