#6

Ask them to go outside and come back at 9pm once I’d assembled all the boobytraps

1 Like
#7

A couple of years ago my 87 year old grandma accosted a bloke who had propped a ladder up against her house and broken into one of the upstairs bedroom windows. She stood in the landing and shouted ‘you may as well come down, I know you’re up there’. As he came downstairs towards the front door apologising profusely and asking if he could just go she nicked him with a serrated bread knife.

She was so made up when he ran off and left his ladders. My dad uses them when he goes round in the summer to tidy up the apple trees.

9 Likes
#8

Not allowed to do that mate, nanny state and all

#10

She genuinely is. I would’ve absolutely shat myself but literally no fucks given for Grandma Phyllis.

#11

Kick their head in obviously

#12

To be honest, I’d probably just see red. I’m not really the fighting type but if they were in my property I’d want them off my property as quickly as possible. I don’t think my liberal sensitivities would have a chance.

#13

FP8ITyF.jpg1203×899 140 KB

1 Like
#15

I would try my best to sympathize with him/her/the poor retch and what awful socioeconomic circumstances had lead them to this point in their lives. I would decry capitalism, through up my arms in despair, then sit down, to continue patiently waiting for the communist revolution.

1 Like
#16

There’s nothing worse than the sound of a bustling mouse padding along a skirting board. At uni I woke up one night in the wee hours to a mouse nibbling on a bag of peanuts on my side table. Terrifying.

#18

Should I change the title of the thread to ‘what would you do if you caught a mouse in your house?’

  • Yes
  • Nah

0 voters

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#19

No she didn’t.

#21

Rimmy Mouse: The Mouse Walt Disney Didn’t Want You To Know About

2 Likes
#22

I feel this would do an injustice to the bravery of my Grandmother.

3 Likes
#23

It’s nice to know I’m not the only grim bastard that could attract meece to their bed.

#27

Would there be a desire for a rolling father ted thread where all references to and screenshots of father ted are catalogued for posterity? I’ll let someone else decide

#29

My friend did this too! She thought he was the guy the girl in the next room had brought back the night before

#30

A lot of them are in the squidpan thread: Squidpan

1 Like
#32

:anguished:

To answer the OP I’d shit myself and hide

#33

I’m normally laid back but the red mist would come down and I’m big sure what I’d do.

Years ago some one crashed their car into my parents garden just missing my nephew. The fled the scene and I ended up chasing them, rugby tackling them and holding them down with neighbours til police arrived. They bit me trying to escape, for a split second I was going to smash their face on the pavement, but thank god I didn’t.

1 Like
#34

Fucking hell man, sounds awful