What would you get from this vending machine?

Or why not try some traditional baked crisps. THAT’S NOT WHAT GARY LINEKER DIED FOR.

I think I’d go as far as to say that every single option available in this machine is the worst possible version of the thing that it’s there to represent

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Aw mate where did you get that bag of Crunchers?

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What the fuck are Crunchers?

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Two different twirlers worth of Quavers.

Toddlers do not have the disposable income for vending machines, why are they catering to toddlers?

This vending machine is secretly an anger generator.

Every time I look at this I think ‘oh actually there’s a KitKat Chunky’ but it’s not is it, it’s a fucking Boka, whatever the fuck that is.

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who puts porridge in a vending machine?

Quavers are the best thing in there.

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Is that a digestives slice at the bottom??

Astonishingly, they’re somehow the second best savoury option. Fucking Quavers on the podium. I’ve never seen anything like it

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Kinder Bueno
Last time I used a vending machine was at a train station in London. My kid’s entire highlight of London was that there were vending machines at most stations. He had been nagging me to get him something so eventually I caved and he ordered some crap choice just before the train arrived.
Except it didn’t drop down, did it? Got stuck on the little wire bit. Then the train turned up and we had to get on. Long 45 mins to Waterloo that was, FUCK YOU VENDING MACHINES!*
*Also the process for getting a refund is like send a 500 word email with loads of info about the exact machine number, date time, some other shite, piss off! Nobody is bothering with that. Basically got played again by that machine!

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image

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Salt and vinegar baked and the crispy M&Ms, but I’d not be happy about it.

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Mini cheddars and a Twirl

Not having this performative outrage about the stock. Cheese & Onion baked and Galaxy Caramel please. Simple yet effective

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Thank you!

Matching choice, jinx on you.

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Genuinely not being performative here and I think I’m more “bewildered” than “outraged”

It is a truly astonishing series of decisions IMO

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If the NHS is privatised and sold off will there be Boosts and Monster Munch in the vending machines?

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