What's the most distinguished building you've done a shit in?

Norwegian parliement building (my mum worked there for years and I’d go and have lunch or dinner with her quite frequently so I’m assuming I must’ve taken a shit there at some point)

European Courts of Justice.

London Dungeon

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This place recently


The Earl and Lady of Derby’s gaff (I don’t know them)

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Snap - had a residential training weekend there a couple of years ago

I went to uni there and lived in the building first and third year. I’ve done some very stupid things in that building.



Salisbury Cathedral many times in my youth

I’d much rather my employer bore the cost of my time and the paper.


If I had to tame my colon for the whole 8 hours I am at work then something would probably give. And it wouldn’t be pretty.

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it’s not good for you either to do that, is it?

Probably, but I like to be comfortable - if I need to go and there’s somewhere I can do my thing then why not?


On a school trip to Moscow I left a gremlin in the Kremlin.


I don’t think I have an answer to this question, but in the twenty years I’ve lived in London I’ve been in Harrods once and it was solely to have a piss.

I went for a piss in Harrods not that long ago - the toilets were fucking rank.

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I was about to say that I’ve done a shit in Harrods, but now I’m worried you’re going to think this was my fault.

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Christ, would have been a 2 mile round trip home from school just for a wee (1.5 miles when I was at primary school).

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I can’t recall. I was absolutely hammered, and got off the tube specifically to find a quiet corner. Harrods seemed a reasonable option.

I think I do have two answers to the original OP.

Answer 1: Cliveden House, stately pile something to do with the Profumo affair. Also where Stephen Gerrard had his wedding and all his mates behaved really badly. But that’s a hotel so it probably doesn’t really count.

Answer 2: The New York Natural History Museum. Something I ate disagreed with me at short notice. The experience was even grimmer, due to the yanks’ love of really unprivate cubicles, but there wasn’t really another option, other than sneaking behind a T-Rex.

There’s a tipping point joke in there that I can’t be arsed to think of.